


It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

by nerdcredred, Ocelot_l



Series: Lifetimes [3]
Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcredred/pseuds/nerdcredred, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocelot_l/pseuds/Ocelot_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas time and Linkara has a surprise for his team, but not everyone is in the mood to celebrate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All works can also be found at my LiveJournal page at http://bookishlady242.livejournal.com/
> 
> We do not own these characters nor the people who portray these characters. This is meant as a work of fiction and is fair use. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is performed by Johnny Mathis. "Christmas in Killarney" is performed by Bing Crosby.

90s Kid wandered around the familiar thrift store, poring over the stacks of VHS tapes, audio cassettes, books, toys, and clothing proudly displayed on shelves and stands for the holiday season as he searched for an important gift. He didn’t normally have a lot of money, but he had been skimping on his regular comic book purchases for weeks and saving up so he’d be able to get Dan something nice for Christmas. 90s Kid had already finished wrapping the presents he was going to give to his friends, but he wanted Dan’s present to be special.

After a half hour or so of walking through the store, 90s Kid sighed and leaned against the back wall, crossing his arms in dissatisfaction.

“None of this stuff is awesome enough. Dan already has all these games and toys and junk. He doesn’t need a new jacket either, and he’s, like, got tons of Crystal Pepsi and New Coke.” 90s Kid was starting to run out of steam. It was already starting to get dark outside and Linkara had asked them to come home before it got too late so he could tell them about a surprise he had in store. 90s Kid was eager to know what it was, but he refused to end his quest for Dan’s present so soon. He was going to find something great for his boyfriend, he just knew it.

This Christmas was a special one for 90s Kid because it would be the first Christmas for him and Dan as a couple. When he thought back on all the events leading up to the creation of their relationship, 90s Kid almost found it hard to believe that they had only gotten together back at the beginning of September. They had only been dating for four months, but they had been the best four months of his life. Dan was the sweetest, most wonderful person 90s Kid knew. He always had a smile and a hug to cheer him up when 90s Kid was feeling low, he always listened when 90s Kid talked about cool stuff from his favorite decade, and he never treated the teen like he was a burden or just some dumb kid. Dan was just totally special, so he deserved a totally special present on Christmas morning.

“I guess I should, like, try somewhere else,” 90s Kid finally said in defeat after another ten minutes of aimless searching. He walked up toward the front of the store, ready to pull out his skateboard and return home for the night, when he noticed several little trinkets were being kept behind glass near the cashier counter. 90s Kid crouched down to get a better look at the various baubles and scanned his eyes over the wares carefully, not really noticing anything in particular, until he saw something that made him pause. He lifted his shades to get a better look at it, his smile growing extremely wide.

“Dude, this is it! Dan’s gonna totally love it!” It was something the older man would recognize for sure and it was definitely something special, since 90s Kid couldn’t recall Dan having anything similar to it. He could already envision just how happy Dan would be if he gave that to him on Christmas morning. It was perfect. “I hope I, like, have enough,” 90s Kid muttered as he took off his cap and pulled out a crumpled wad of bills. Luckily, his weeks of saving had paid off and he turned eagerly to one of the salesgirls. “Can I see that one?"

\-----

Once 90s Kid arrived back home, Linkara gathered everyone in the living room to finally reveal the surprise he’d been planning for Christmas. Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer sat at attention, waiting with avid curiosity for the news, while Harvey lounged in his favorite chair, smiling as he gazed at Linkara and knowing that whatever it was, it would surely be a doozy. Linksano was sitting politely in a chair as well, though he looked as though he would much rather be back in his lab, while 90s Kid was bouncing around on the floor with excitement. Linkara was afraid he’d explode if he didn’t know what the announcement was in the next two minutes.

“Okay, everyone!” Linkara clapped his hands and moved to the center of the living room. “I first want to thank you all for turning this apartment into a very festive place this year,” he said, smiling fondly at Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer in particular, “but I’m afraid we’re not exactly going to be spending Christmas here."

“What?! You mean we did all that work for no reason?” Linksano exclaimed, indignant that his modicum of effort seemed to have been without purpose. “Why in the world would you…” Linksano trailed off when he realized Harvey was glaring at him and he quickly looked down, though he continued grumbling to himself.

Linkara rolled his eyes at the scientist. “Well I for one certainly enjoyed how cheery and bright the place looked for once. So thank you all again for helping me decorate.”

“Dude, what do you mean we’re not gonna be here?” 90s Kid looked even more excited than before at the prospect of a trip. “Where are we going?” Linkara grinned at him and pulled a brochure out of his jacket before tossing it to the teen.

“I rented us a cabin! During the week leading up to Christmas, we’re going to be enjoying a private, luxurious two-story cabin with all the comforts of home, plus a wonderful set of ski slopes right out in the backyard!”

“Dude, that sounds totally awesome!” 90s Kid cried while the others agreed and crowded around him to peer at the brochure over his shoulder.

*The beautiful countryside will make for the perfect peaceful Christmas setting.* Ninja-Style Dancer said with an approving nod of his head.

“I dig the huge fireplace,” Harvey said before shooting a glance at Linkara. “Looks like the perfect place to cozy up with someone.” Linkara blushed slightly.

“Y-yeah, it seems that way, doesn’t it?”

“Is it really alright to be spending so much on yet another trip?” Linksano asked Linkara, although he was staring over at Harvey as he spoke. “We haven’t even been able to pay you back for the surprising excursions you sent us on mere days ago.” Linksano couldn’t help smirking when he saw Linkara blush redder, but then he noticed Harvey was shooting him a death-glare and he whimpered.

“Don’t be silly, doc,” the singer said, his words firm and slightly cold. “Those were my early Christmas presents to you all, so of course you don’t gotta pay us back. Besides, I’ve already been generously rewarded for those acts of kindness, so I’m just peachy-keen about it all.”

Linkara was covering his mouth to stifle his embarrassed giggles and Linksano also felt his face heating up as he tried very hard not to imagine what Harvey was referring to. He quickly turned his attention back to the brochure and let his thoughts get carried away by the excited chatter of 90s Kid.

"Dudes! It says the mountains are totally good for skiing and sledding and all that junk!"

"I thought you’d enjoy that aspect of the cabin, 90s Kid,” Linkara said after composing himself. “This means that you’ll finally be able to try snowboarding, which I think you said you were interested in, right?"

“Right! I can, like, spend the whole week shredding that mountain!” 90s Kid nodded enthusiastically before a light bulb went off in his head and his face suddenly drooped. Linkara frowned at him.

“What’s wrong?"

“Oh, um… nothing, dude.” 90s Kid tried to keep the disappointment from his voice. Going to the cabin sounded like it would be a ton of fun, but it would mean that he wouldn’t get to be with Dan on Christmas morning. He had been looking forward to giving him his special gift that day, but now it seemed unlikely he would even see him in time. “It’s totally fine,” he continued, still trying to sound as if nothing were bothering him. “Just thinking. I guess I’ll, like, have to give Dan his present early or something. But it’s totally cool. Christmas isn’t a big deal or whatever.” Linkara suddenly chuckled, which caused 90s Kid to look up, confused and slightly hurt. “Why are you laughing, dude?"

“Sorry, 90s Kid, but I almost forgot. I have another surprise to add to this one.” Linkara smiled warmly at 90s Kid. “He was sworn to secrecy about it until now, but I invited Dan to come along. I knew I couldn’t keep you two apart on such a big day.”

90s Kid’s jaw dropped and his shades slid off his face, revealing eyes wide with shock. He immediately leapt to his feet and wrapped Linkara in a huge bear hug, picking up his friend and spinning him around the room. “Dude, really? That is so extremely awesome! This is gonna be the best Christmas EVER! You are totally the most radical, most awesometastic friend anybody could ask for! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Boffo also honked his horn happily, as he enjoyed spending time with cheerful 80s-lover as well, but Linkara couldn’t really hear it thanks to all the spinning.

“Okay! Okay… 90s Kid… y-you’re welcome…” Linkara wheezed from being squeezed so hard as he soon grew dizzy from all the spinning. “I’m very glad you’re happy… now please p-put me down… oh jeez..."

“Whoops. Sorry, man.” 90s Kid obliged and set Linkara down, where he staggered a bit before falling over onto Harvey’s lap.

“Oh, hi Harvey…” he murmured, slightly dazed. Harvey chuckled and kissed his forehead before Linkara laid his head on the singer’s shoulder and closed his eyes so the room would stop spinning. “Um… oh yeah… I think Cinema Snob is coming along too.”

“That weirdo who threw the Halloween party?” Harvey asked, remembering back with a bit of a frown.

“He’s not weird, he’s-” Linkara paused as he tried to think of ways in which Snob wasn’t weird. “Um, well, he’s a cat-person, and that’s pretty normal.”

*Doesn’t he usually dress the poor creature in holiday outfits?* Ninja-Style Dancer asked before Boffo picked up a Christmas card and handed it to him. *Like right here. He stuck a pointed elf cap and a red sweater on it and called him ‘Santa Paws’, which isn’t even original really. I wouldn’t say that’s the mark of a non-weird person.*

“Aw, come on guys, give him a break,” Linkara said, sitting up straighter to look pleadingly at the others. “He is still my friend and he’s going to be all by himself this Christmas.”

Boffo honked questioningly and Linkara shook his head in response. “Nope, Phelous is staying in Canada this year. I think he was depressed about killing Christmas or something, I don’t know, I don’t keep up with his show. But the point is, he won’t be with Snob, and Dan was almost beside himself at the notion that Snob would be all alone on that day, so can’t you all look into your hearts and let him stay with us?” Linkara’s lip quivered ever so slightly and Harvey caved at once.

“Of course we can, Kid. Don’t you worry about a thing, we’ll take good care of your pal.” The others, minus Linksano, agreed and Linkara pulled Harvey into a hug before smiling at them all.

“Thanks, guys. I just know this trip is going to be our best one ever!”

"Totally!" 90s Kid started to jump up and down with glee while the others began conversing about their upcoming vacation and what they wanted to do at the cabin. All of them except for Linksano, who once again found himself at the back of the room as he watched the happiness around him with no expression. A moment later, he got up and slipped out of the room without anyone noticing before he opened the door to his lab and crept down the stairs.

\-----

Linksano scribbled furiously on his whiteboard as he tried to figure out where he was going wrong. On the table behind him sat several blue devices that looked like Pez dispensers, only with bright red buttons on the top in place of colorful character heads. Another board covered in maps and pictures stood beside the one Linksano was currently working on, each piece tacked precisely into place and forming a strange sort of collage.

“Cursed pieces of rubbish,” Linksano muttered as he rubbed out several equations with a rag and scribbled two more in their place. “Why don’t you work? I’ve done everything correctly, I’ve copied the designs perfectly, so why? What’s changed?”

Linksano began writing again, so caught up in his work that he didn’t hear the knocking on the lab door, nor the footsteps traveling down the stairs, but he certainly did feel the hand clapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey dude! I’m, like, here to help!”

“Ah!” Linksano jumped a foot into the air before whirling around to glare at a smiling 90s Kid. “Don’t ever sneak up on me again! I could have been in the middle of a dangerous experiment!”

“Sorry, dude, but I tried to knock and stuff,” 90s Kid said, looking a bit taken aback by Linksano’s harsh words. “Didn’t you, like, want me to come help you test your new science-thing?”

Linksano sighed and tried to calm down. Just because he was frustrated didn’t mean he should take it out on 90s Kid, who was always so kind about helping Linksano with his projects. “Yes, that’s correct. My apologies for yelling, 90s Kid, but I’m just feeling a bit stressed out at the moment.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” 90s Kid brushed off as Linksano turned to grab one of the devices on the table. “I bet once we get to the cabin, you’ll totally stop feeling stress and start feeling awesome!” Linksano looked at 90s Kid’s optimistic grin with slight disdain.

“I seriously doubt that, but you’re free to keep imagining it if you’d like.” 90s Kid’s expression grew confused and Linksano instantly regretted saying anything. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk, so he shoved the blue device into the younger man’s hand. “Here, this is what I need your assistance with.”

“What is it?” 90s Kid wondered, bringing the device closer to his eyes for a better look.

“You’ll see in just a moment,” Linksano said as he pulled out a clipboard and a pen. “Now, I want you to look at the other side of my laboratory and picture how it looks in your mind, 90s Kid. Can you do that for me?”

“I think so.” 90s Kid stared hard at the opposite side of the room, burning the image of it into his brain. “Okay, it’s, like, in my head now, Linksano-dude.”

“Good. Now, I want you to keep imagining what it looks like while you press the red button on top of what you’re holding.” 90s Kid glanced back down at the device in his hand and nodded.

“Okay, dude, so I just-”

90s Kid was cut off when he pushed the button as his whole body vanished from the room. A second later, he reappeared on the other side of the lab, in the exact area he’d been staring at.

“-press it? Whoa! Dude! How’d I get over here?”

“Do you feel any discomfort or pain right now?” Linksano asked, ignoring 90s Kid’s bewilderment to write down something on his clipboard instead. “Any headaches? Dizziness? Nausea?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so.” 90s Kid stared back down at the device he held. “Did this do that to me?”

“90s Kid, can you envision your bedroom in your mind for me?” 90s Kid looked over at Linksano, still confused, but he nodded at his question. “Okay, now would you mind pressing that button again while you keep picturing your bedroom?”

“Am I gonna-”

90s Kid was cut off again as he once more vanished from the lab. Linksano took off his gloves and looked at his watch, timing how long it took for 90s Kid to come racing down the stairs back into the room before noting it on his board.

“Dude! That thing sent me to my bedroom! What is it, Linksano?”

“It’s a miniature teleportation device, or teleporter for short,” Linksano finally said as he walked over to feel 90s Kid’s forehead. “Hmm, no sign of fever. Please hold out your arm for me.”

“So it, like, teleports you to different places?” 90s Kid asked while Linksano arranged a black Velcro cuff around his arm with which to check his blood pressure.

“Correct. I have already tested it multiple times myself, and I’ve found this device can teleport you to any area on this planet you can imagine.” Linksano pulled off the cuff and placed the tips of his stethoscope into his ears before listening to 90s Kid’s heartbeat. “I have already traveled to China, Argentina, the Sahara Desert and the South Pole with no adverse effects, but I wanted to be sure it would work with other operators. You appear to be in perfect condition, so it seems to have succeeded,” Linksano concluded, writing down another batch of information on his clipboard. “Of course, I’ll have the others test them once they receive them as gifts, just to be absolutely certain they won’t cause any harm.”

“Gifts? Oh, are these gonna be are Christmas presents?” Linksano nodded and 90s Kid grinned with glee. “Dude, that is a totally radical gift! I wish I, like, had something that cool to give you too!”

Despite not feeling his best, Linksano offered 90s Kid a weak smile at his earnest desire. “Oh, that’s all right, 90s Kid. I’m sure whatever you give me will be delightful. Besides,” he continued, turning and walking over to a desk so he could store his clipboard inside a drawer, “it’s not like I’ll be receiving what I really want anyway.”

“Why not?” Linksano blinked in surprise as he found 90s Kid suddenly right behind him and looking at him with a very serious expression.

“Oh, um, it’s nothing you should be concerned about,” he tried to say, hoping 90s Kid would drop the matter. He really should have been more careful when talking to the teen, since he could be surprisingly sharp when he wanted to be. “I just meant that I… well, that I can’t get what I really want because that would be… to go home.”

Linksano hadn’t meant for that to come tumbling out of his mouth, but he found once he’d said it, he felt strangely better. 90s Kid, on the other hand, looked even more perplexed.

“But dude, you are home. You mean you wanna stay here for Christmas?”

“No, I mean my home universe. I first left there when fleeing that monstrous Vyce,” he recalled, looking down as feelings of shame and guilt for his past actions started to flood through him, “and I haven’t been back since. At first I thought I would be able to return once Vyce was defeated, but the technology I’d been using to travel through the different universes stopped functioning. I tried to repair the devices but failed to fix the problems; then I decided to build new teleporters that could allow me to travel across galaxies once again.”

“You mean these?” 90s Kid set down the device he held and Linksano nodded.

“Yes. Yet even these are failures, for while they allow me to travel to any spot on the planet, I find I am unable to leave Earth, let alone the universe. So I… I won’t be able to see…” Linksano trailed off. While it had felt wonderful to talk about his desire to see his homeworld with another person, the idea of telling 90s Kid this next part was suddenly causing a knot to form in his stomach. He turned around, not wanting to face the younger man just then, and walked over to the board covered in colorful images. Amid all the maps and star charts was one photograph, worn by time and a great deal of handling. A young man with wavy black hair, a white lab coat, and familiar spiral goggles smiled happily while resting his arm around a young woman with golden hair. Linksano stared at the picture a moment before reaching out a finger to trail across both their faces. 

“Is that your family?” 90s Kid stood beside Linksano, looking at the picture curiously and wondering why the two people he saw looked somehow familiar.

“Yes,” Linksano said softly. “I… I miss them, 90s Kid. Surely you must know what that’s like… you’ve left people behind as well, haven’t you?”

“Not really.” Linksano turned to 90s Kid in surprise, but the teen was shuffling his feet and staring at the floor. “I mean, I think I left people behind, but I don’t really remember them too good… and like, what I do remember, um, it doesn’t make me miss them, really.”

Linksano felt a pang of sympathy and reached out to give 90s Kid an awkward pat on the arm. “I’m, er, sorry if I’ve brought up bad memories.”

“It’s fine.” 90s Kid shook his head. “I’m totally fine.” He didn’t sound too convincing, so Linksano, desperate for some way to change the gloomy atmosphere, wracked his brain for positive topics of discourse until he remembered something.

“Oh! 90s Kid, I almost forgot. With this device in your possession,” he started, picking up the teleporter and handing it back to the teen, “you will be able to travel great distances in the blink of an eye! That includes being able to travel to a certain house in Springfield without having to spend hours in a car or on a bus.”

“Dude! You’re totally right! I can, like, visit Dan all the time now!” Linksano cackled a little as 90s Kid sprang back to life like a toy ballerina which had just been wound up to dance again. “Oh! I’m totally gonna go visit him now and tell him all about this most extreme present, Linksano-dude! Thanks so much, man!”

Linksano exhaled sharply when 90s Kid pulled him into a hug, but fortunately the teen was too excited to notice how his affectionate embrace was barely responded to. Once he’d released Linksano, 90s Kid held up the teleporter and grinned happily before vanishing again.

Linksano waited a few moments, wanting to be sure 90s Kid wouldn’t teleport back into his lab, before he walked over to his desk. He pulled out a key from his pocket and unlocked the bottom drawer before pulling it open. It was empty save for one small picture frame bearing an image of the same blonde woman from the other photo. Linksano stared at it sadly for a few minutes before hugging the frame to his chest. Then, without a word, he put it back into the drawer, closed it, locked it, and slipped the key into his pocket.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a beautiful, crisp, clear winter day when Linkara and his team set out toward the cabin. The fragrance of pine trees was in the air, the ground was covered with a blanket of freshly fallen snow, and the sun had even come out to shine rays of warmth across the icy landscape. Everyone’s breath could be seen in front of their faces, and they wore rosy cheeks and kind, energetic smiles that could only come from the joy of the holiday season.

Thanks to the use of one of his spellbooks, Linkara had managed to stretch out his car so that the team could pile into it without having to worry about leg cramps and elbows in faces whenever someone shifted in place. Linkara sat behind the wheel as he drove his excited crew toward their destination and glanced over at Harvey, who was riding shotgun, every so often to smile with excitement. 90s Kid and Ninja-Style Dancer had plenty of room to stretch their legs out in the car’s newly created middle seats, while Boffo and Linksano occupied the very back. Dan and Cinema Snob were trailing behind in Dan’s car, and 90s Kid periodically looked back and waved to them, which Dan always cheerily returned.

“Boy, the scenery around these parts sure does take your breath away,” Harvey observed, looking out the window to whistle as the sunlight made the snowy ground sparkle.

“Yeah, it’s gorgeous.” Linkara was very pleased that things had been quiet enough back home that they could all take a full-fledged Christmas vacation. Pollo and Nimue were keeping watch at the base and were under orders to contact them in case of emergency, but Linkara wasn’t too worried. Even evil forces had to take a holiday at some point.

Harvey reached for the radio then and fiddled with the volume knob. There was a CD of old crooner holiday tunes playing in the stereo and he was eagerly singing along, the music loud enough to be heard but still soft enough that everyone could focus on Harvey’s rich voice.

90s Kid hadn’t stopped bouncing around since entering the car and it didn’t seem like he would ever stop. “Duuuuude, this is gonna be so totally awesome! I’m, like, super stoked to finally be able to try snowboarding and stuff! Plus Dan and I are totally going sledding when we get there!” Boffo honked his horn and the teen nodded at him. “I know, man, skiing is gonna be righteous too! Have any of you guys ever done it before?"

*No, but I shall try anything once and I look forward to enjoying a new experience.*

As Ninja-Style Dancer and 90s Kid got into a conversation about skiing and boarding tricks, Linksano sighed softly from the backseat. He hadn’t been able to shake his melancholic mood for a few days now, and he wondered if he’d even be able to enjoy this holiday with his comrades. Social interaction was never his strong point, especially not when he was expected to maintain an aura of cheerfulness and friendliness. While Linksano did consider the team his friends, it was still rather difficult for him to spend too much time around them. If Linksano were honest, all he really wanted to do was lock himself away with his tools and his chemicals, and work until he was too exhausted to think or feel or pretend he was happy a second longer. Maybe coming away with them all like this had been a mistake. The others may have considered this ragtag bunch a family, but the only family Linksano acknowledged was a universe away.

Linksano stared out the window silently for quite a while before the hair on the back of his neck prickled him, alerting him to the fact that someone was watching him. He turned his head sharply to find Boffo smiling in a friendly manner in his direction.

“Can I help you?” Linksano asked curtly, already starting to bristle at the thought of being forced to engage in mindless conversation. Instead of pulling out his horn, Boffo withdrew a pack of playing cards from his coat instead. He shuffled them deftly and fanned them out, inviting Linksano to choose one.

Linksano resisted the urge to roll his eyes. There was no reason to offend someone who was trying to be pleasant with him. “Erm, this one I suppose.” Linksano was honestly not a big fan of card tricks, since even this cheap imitation of magic brought out a flicker of annoyance in him, but he decided to indulge Boffo to be polite.

Boffo smiled and shuffled the cards together, even asking Linksano to shuffle them to be certain no funny business was going on. Linksano complied a bit listlessly and nodded in affirmation when Boffo managed to show him the correct card that he’d picked. “Yes, well done."

Boffo noticed that Linksano wasn’t very enthralled, but he loved a challenge. He pulled out another pack of cards and shuffled them into the first before holding out three fingers to Linksano. The scientist sighed but again selected the necessary cards. This time, after a bit of fancy shuffling which involved the cards somehow flying through the air but still managing to land in a neat pile, Boffo reached into the pockets of his jacket and behind Linksano’s ear to reveal his selected cards.

Linksano was slightly more impressed with this trick, but that level still only earned Boffo an arched eyebrow and more polite chatter. “Oh, very good. You’re quite skilled, it seems.”

Boffo tilted his head a moment and thought. The he smiled and snapped in triumph. Placing a gloved finger next to his ear, he withdrew a new pack of cards seemingly from nowhere. Boffo shuffled them for a bit before he held one up to reveal that instead of bearing images of past royalty and numbers, these cards represented elements of the periodic table. Linksano couldn’t help it as his expression brightened at the sight of such familiar friends. He watched Boffo fan them all out before he held up two fingers.

“Oh, you want me to choose two this time? Very well."

Linksano plucked two cards out, noting that they were chlorine and sodium, before handing them back to Boffo who, with eyes clamped shut, squeezed them within his palms. A moment later, when he pulled his hands apart, all that remained was a single pristine card that sported a picture of a salt shaker.

“Oh, how clever!” Linksano exclaimed in delight, clapping his hands with the first bout of enthusiasm he’d felt in a while. “Show me another!"

Boffo gladly obliged while Ninja-Style Dancer passed a note to Linkara. *We shouldn’t be too far from our destination now. My internal compass is informing me that we are very close.

“Good, because my legs could use a good stretch,” Harvey said after reading the message himself. “Oh, but not until we finish this little beauty,” he amended as a new tune began to play. “Kid, turn it up! This one’s a classic!” Linkara obliged the singer by turning up the volume on the radio slightly, the opening instrumental to the Bing Crosby song, “Christmas in Killarney” filling the car at once. Harvey’s voice mingled beautifully with the one coming from the radio, and soon the whole team calmed their conversations down so they could listen to him.

_“The holly green, the ivy green, the prettiest picture you’ve ever seen, is Christmas in Killarney, with all of the folks at home. It’s nice you know to kiss your beau while cuddling under the mistletoe, and Santa Claus you know of course, is one of the boys from home…”_

Linkara joined in on the next few verses and everyone else sat back and relaxed as they felt the spirit of the season wash over them.

“Dudes, look!” 90s Kid suddenly pointed out his window and everyone leaned closer to him so they could see as well. The cabin was finally appearing at the end of their stretch of road, surrounded by snow-covered trees and ski slopes in the distance.

“It looks like something out of a picture book,” Harvey said softly, his face lighting up as he thought of spending the next week in this winter wonderland with the others. Linkara soon parked the car in front of the log-crafted abode and everyone got out to stretch their legs, breathing in the cold winter air and sighing happily.

Dan’s car followed right behind them, and the team waved and honked in greeting as Dan and the Cinema Snob climbed out of the car. Cinema Snob looked more frustrated than usual as he lit up a cigarette.

“I still don’t know how the hell I got talked into this in the first place,” he grumbled, shooting the team a grouchy look. “If I EVER get into a car for that long with Dan again, someone chop my – dammit, let go!"

Dan, who was nimbler than he looked, squeezed Cinema Snob in joy.

“Isn’t this great, Snob? We’re here at last and ready to spend a fun-filled Christmas week with our closest friends in the world!”

“I don’t like any of these people except Linkara, and even he’s hard to take in large fucking doses!”

“Thanks, Snob,” Linkara replied as sarcastically as he could.

“Why did we invite him again?” Harvey muttered to Linkara, who only rolled his eyes and shook his head at the exploitation lover.

“He’s lonely and all that crap. Just ignore him and we’ll have a fun vacation ourselves.”

“Aww, Snob, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say to our gracious hosts for the week,” Dan chided, squeezing the other man harder, as if he thought that might be the key to wringing some happiness out of him. It was not.

“Damn it, Dan, let me fucking go!” Snob growled as he tried to break free of Dan’s grasp. He never enjoyed being hugged to begin with, but after what he’d been through he was furious with this unwanted contact. “I’ve been cramped in that fucking tiny car for hours listening to you discuss the merits of _Jem_ and _Rainbow Brite_ , and how their shitty lessons so often crossed over into real life dilemmas, and I’ve fucking had it! If you don’t let me go right now, I’m going to stab you to death with a sharpened candy cane!”

Dan scoffed and smiled at Snob, obviously amused by his threats, but luckily 90s Kid was there to rescue them both from Snob possibly acting on them.

“Dude, don’t use up all your bodacious squeezing! Save some for me, ‘kay?"

“Of course, where is my head?” Dan released a still-grumbling Snob so he could run over to 90s Kid, and hugged his boyfriend tightly to him, pressing their rosy cheeks together. “Merry Christmas, sweetie!” Dan exclaimed with glee before giving 90s Kid an eager kiss on the lips. “It’s so good to see you! I’m so excited to be on another vacation with you, and our wonderful friends!” 90s Kid nodded eagerly and patted Dan on the back, happy as always to be with the one he loved most.

Harvey whistled again as he took a closer look at the cabin, putting an arm around Linkara’s shoulders and pulling him close. “This was a great idea, Kid. You definitely know how to pick ‘em.” Linkara giggled and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“Don’t I ever.”

“So, this is to be my prison for the week?” Linksano crossed his arms and stared at the structure with obvious disdain. Now that he’d arrived, his earlier cheer quickly dissipated as he thought about being stuck for a week in such cramped quarters that surely lacked most forms of privacy. Ninja-Style Dancer gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

*Don’t worry, my friend, I’m certain your mood will improve once you breathe in some of this crisp mountain air. Your lungs will clear, as will your mind and heart, allowing you to enjoy Christmas with the rest of us.* To emphasize his point, the ninja breathed in deeply a few times before sighing. *I can feel all my worries disappearing already.*

“I wish I could disappear,” Linksano muttered as he walked over to pull his suitcase from the trunk. The team quickly unloaded their luggage, making small talk as they walked inside the cabin, before they paused to marvel at the way it appeared to be much larger inside than it was outside.

“Just like that kooky Doctor Whose-It show you love, Kid,” Harvey exclaimed, earning a giggle and a peck on the cheek from Linkara. They admired the beautiful large living room, which contained several couches, a large fireplace, comfy throw rugs, large, squishy armchairs, a grand piano, and even a nice model television before moving to explore the rest of the house.

The kitchen looked homey and inviting with its polished floor, wood-burning stove, and bay windows that offered a great view of the mountains, and upstairs there were several bedroom suites with comfy twin beds, sparkling bathrooms, and even a private Jacuzzi in the only single suite.

“Okay, everyone, let’s figure out where we’ll sleep,” Linkara instructed once they’d finished exploring. “There are just enough bedrooms to go around if everyone pairs up to share space."

Harvey and Linkara claimed the bedroom closest to the stairs. It contained French doors that opened up to a beautiful balcony, giving them a marvelous view, and the two strolled out to admire it. Harvey wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind and they gazed over the horizon, feeling the stress of being the world’s heroes start to melt away.

“Beautiful, wouldn’t you say?” Linkara asked softly.

Harvey gazed at him and gently touched his cheeks, looking him in the eyes. “Beautiful…”

Linkara’s cheeks went pink as he realized Harvey wasn’t talking about the view. The two kissed for a good long while, letting themselves relax completely, until a familiar ‘Ahem’ startled them apart. Linkara turned his gaze to the end of the cabin, where out on another balcony stood Cinema Snob, smoking a cigarette. He had gotten the sole single suite with the Jacuzzi, through some more of Dan’s pleading which Linkara hadn’t been able to resist, but it seemed he was more in the mood for people-watching at the moment.

“Well, aren’t you two fucking adorable. Maybe you want to take that inside before you get too hot and heavy, and end up getting frostbite in unfortunate places?”

Harvey glared at Snob while Linkara blushed deeply. “You don’t have to worry about that, Snob. Despite what your diet of porn and exploitation films has taught you about relationships, couples don’t usually have sex outside in sub-freezing locations.”

Snob snorted and took another drag of his cigarette. “Yeah, boring couples don’t.”

Linkara wanted to reply, but he felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

“Come on, Kid. It’s getting a bit nippy out here.” Shooting Snob one last angry look, Linkara nodded and followed Harvey inside.

“Can’t believe I let Dan talk me into inviting him. He doesn’t even want to be here.”

“Eh, you know, I think you might have been right before.” Linkara looked up at Harvey, surprised. The singer was playing with his own pack of cigarettes, tossing it back and forth between his hands. “Maybe being around a lovey-dovey pair like us is tugging at his heart-strings and making him miss his guy. He’s pretty far away, ain’t he? It can’t be easy being without the one you adore, especially at a time when you should be celebrating.”

“I guess you might be right,” Linkara conceded. “But he still could be nicer. But then again, Snob isn’t really known for being nice. Oh, damn it, I just wish I could understand him better.”

“Maybe you will one day, Kid. There’s always hope for these things.” Linkara smiled at Harvey, enjoying his newfound optimism, before walking over to hug the singer.

“Yeah, there is. Thanks, Harvey.”

“No problem, Kid. Now come on, let’s shake a leg.” The two quickly unpacked their bags and then set to work pushing their twin beds together before falling atop them. “This really is a great room, Kid. Although I do wish we had gotten that snazzy Jacuzzi tub instead of that grumpy pal of yours.” Linkara giggled, cuddling up to Harvey and laying his head on his shoulder.

“Mmm, yeah, that’d be nice. Although I don’t think I brought a bathing suit with me up here.”

“That’s okay, Kid,” Harvey told him, his voice low and his eyebrows waggling. “Neither did I.”

\-----

Dan and 90s Kid took the room close to the end of the hallway, right next to Cinema Snob’s suite, to Dan’s delight.

“I love getting to be neighbors with Snob all over again!” Dan exclaimed as he pulled out several white suit jackets to hang in the closet.

“Yeah, dude, that’s totally awesome,” 90s Kid agreed while he placed a stack of Christmas-themed comics on the nightstand for late-night reading.

“Alrighty, I think that’s all the clothes I brought.” Dan shoved his suitcase into the closet as well before he moved to examine the bed closest to him. “Oh, this isn’t too heavy. I should be able to push it against the other bed in no time.”

“What? Dan, wait!”

Dan looked over in surprise at the panic contained in 90s Kid’s voice. “What is it, Kid? Do you not want me to push the beds together? I don’t mind at all, of course, but I usually enjoy when we occupy the same space at night.”

90s Kid quickly bobbed his head up and down. “N-no, dude, I like that too! For sure, it’s awesome! That’s totally not what I meant! J-just, like, let me explain!” 90s Kid quickly ran over and pushed the door closed before locking it. Then he sat down on the edge of one bed before gesturing for Dan to join him. “I do want to sleep next to you, dude,” he whispered, his cheeks starting to tint red as he spoke. “I totally love when we do that. But, like, what if Linkara or Harvey-dude comes in here and sees that? They’d, um, they’d totally think that, you know, and I just don’t want them to, um, like, get the wrong idea or some junk. Y-you get me, dude?”

90s Kid was blushing worse and fidgeting awkwardly, so Dan quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed him gently, feeling the teen relax almost instantly in his embrace. “I understand, Kid,” he said after pulling back. He knew how shy 90s Kid still was when it came to the physical part of their relationship, and he didn’t want to do anything that made his boyfriend uncomfortable. “How about this: we wait until tonight, when everyone has gone to bed, and then push the beds together? Then in the mornings, we pull them apart before going down for breakfast. Does that sound okay?”

90s Kid nodded before lowering his head. “Sorry, Dan. I know this must be totally weird and a pain to do that junk.”

“Kid, it’s fine,” Dan said in a firm, reassuring tone as he hugged him close once again. “Compared to some of the things I’ve done before of my own free will, this isn’t weird or a pain at all.”

“Really?”

Dan smiled. “Really, sweetie.”

90s Kid gave him the biggest, brightest smile he could before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug and kissing him several times. “I love you, Dan!”

“I-I love you too, Kid!” Dan replied, laughing a little at how affectionate 90s Kid could get. “Come on, now that we’re unpacked, let’s get outside and check out the slopes.”

“Totally!”

\-----

Linksano stared around his bedroom before letting out a weary sigh. Of course it would be too much to hope that he’d be given a room of his own, not when so many people were occupying the same cabin, but in his opinion it was completely unfair that he had to share the space with not one, but two roommates.

Boffo waved to catch his attention before gesturing toward the two beds, asking if there was one he preferred.

“I’ll sleep here,” Linksano declared, placing his bag on the bed farthest from the window. He was certain he’d catch a chill if he wasn’t careful in such a drafty building. Boffo smiled and quickly claimed the other bed as his own. “Oh, uh, but what about you?” Linksano turned to Ninja-Style Dancer, who was the third occupant of the room.

*Don’t worry, I am always prepared with a place to sleep.* Ninja-Style Dancer made a few hand signs before a hammock appeared in a puff of smoke. He quickly set to work attaching it to the dresser and the closet door. *Perfect. Now I can rest peacefully.*

“I wish I could say the same,” Linksano muttered as he climbed onto his bed and laid down on his side, facing the door. He wasn’t in the mood for company or having to be pleasant to others at the moment. In fact, he felt incredibly tired and wanted nothing more than to curl up under the surprisingly soft quilt resting on his bed for the rest of the day, but he felt awkward about making his feelings known. Even though he’d grown closer to his teammates, Linksano still felt hesitant about showing weakness in front of them; he was pretty sure other than Boffo that he was considered the weakest member of the team anyway, but there was really no reason to confirm that fact. “I think I shall spend the afternoon indulging in a bit of reading,” Linksano informed the two as he reached down to rummage around in his suitcase. He pulled out an old, well-worn copy of _A Christmas Carol_ and opened it, trying to look as if he were suddenly in a state of deep concentration.

Ninja-Style Dancer shrugged and turned back around to arrange a few pillows in his hammock, only looking up again when he felt Boffo tap him on the shoulder. Boffo nodded toward Linksano and said a few words in sign language, since the ninja was proficient in this method of communication as well, which earned him a nod of understanding.

*I see. Perhaps it would be best to give him some space. You truly are a thoughtful soul, Boffo.*

The clown blushed and shrugged off his words before following Ninja-Style Dancer out the door.

Linksano didn’t look up as the door closed. He was grateful for the chance to have some time alone, but his thoughts were overwhelming him and putting a damper on his relief. Linksano turned onto his back and rested the book on his chest before pushing his goggles onto his forehead so he could stare up at the ceiling with uncovered eyes.

“I suppose this will be another Christmas without you, Wayne,” Linksano whispered, his vision starting to blur. “I hope that you’re happy… the both of you…”

\-----

After finishing his cigarette, Snob walked back into his room and closed the balcony doors. He was suitably chilled after spending a half-hour enjoying the winter air, and he knew just the perfect way to warm up.

Forgoing unpacking for the time being, Snob quickly tossed his bag to the floor and walked over to the Jacuzzi to turn it on. When the hot tub was filled enough to completely steam up the bathroom mirrors, Snob disrobed before lowering his body into the bubbling water.

“Oh my fuck,” he sighed, his whole body awash with warmth and wonderfulness. Snob settled on the bench seat before laying his head back and closing his eyes. He was pretty sure he could fall asleep in this thing if he weren’t interrupted.

“Hey Snob!” Dan called out before pounding excessively on his door. Snob was almost startled out of his skin. “90s Kid and I are going to check out the area! Care to join us?”

“I’d rather boil myself in oil!” Snob called back, although the edge in his tone had been considerably dulled thanks to the soothing bubbles massaging his body.

“Okey-dokey! We’ll see you at dinner then!”

Snob didn’t respond, as he was too busy moaning with pleasure thanks to the Jacuzzi’s TheraPro jets and what they were doing to his backside.

\-----

“Dudes, you are totally going down!”

*Yes we are. On this hill. Faster than you two.*

90s Kid giggled before shooting Ninja-Style Dancer a mock ferocious glare. “We’re gonna kick your butts! You ready to go, Dan?”

Behind him on the sled, Dan wrapped his arms around 90s Kid’s waist and nodded. “I sure am, Kid.”

Over on the ninja’s sled, Boffo honked that he was also ready to begin, so 90s Kid called down the snowy hill to Linkara. “We’re ready, dude!”

“Okay!” Linkara held his Sonic Screwdriver high above his head. “On my count: 1, 2, 3, go!” He pressed a button so the device whirred and at once, the two sleds were off. It was a close race for a while, but soon enough, Ninja-Style Dancer’s sled started to pull ahead and eventually reached the bottom of the mountain first.

*Victory. Just as planned.*

Honk! Honk!

Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer hugged happily before they walked over to offer the losing team a hand up.

“Aw, you totally beat us, dudes,” 90s Kid conceded before shaking their hands. “Like, good race and junk.”

*Yes, it really was. I am honored to have beaten such a worthy opponent.*

“I thought we had them, Kid,” Dan said with a smile as he slipped his hand into the teen’s. “We were doing fine, but then we just seemed to slow down for some reason.”

“Y-yeah, I guess we did.” Even though 90s Kid was quite the thrill-junkie who lived for speed, he couldn’t help holding back when he had Dan riding along with him. He hadn’t even realized how dangerous a thing sled races could be until he’d heard Dan gasping for breath behind him. “But it’s no biggie. Um, so, let’s go and, like, check out that rental shop, Dan. I bet they totally have snowboards and stuff.”

“Okay, sure. We’ll see you later, my friends.” As the two walked off, Ninja and Boffo turned to Linkara.

*I think we will be giving this competition another try. Would you be so kind as to be the referee again, Linkara?* 

“Sure. Just let me know when you’re ready to go.” Boffo honked his thanks before the two went to grab the sleds and scramble back up to the top of the hill. Linkara twirled his Sonic Screwdriver around his index finger as he waited until a pair of arms slid around his waist and pulled him backwards into a hug.

“Ah! Harvey, don’t sneak up on me like that,” Linkara tried to scold, even though he was laughing thanks to the singer’s sudden decision to nuzzle his cheek.

“Sorry, Kid. I just thought you were looking cold and could use a hug.”

“I guess I am feeling a tad chilly,” Linkara replied, turning around to brush his lips against Harvey’s.

“Come on, let’s go for a stroll,” Harvey said softly, still nuzzling against Linkara’s cheeks. “I’ve been looking around the place and they got some nice walking paths through these woods. They’re perfectly safe and very private, so we won’t be rudely interrupted again if we decide to warm each other up, so to speak.”

“Harvey!” Linkara laughed again, and he could feel his face start to heat up already. “Look, I’d love to go for a walk with you, but I’m supposed to be refereeing a race for Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer right now. They’re up on that hill waiting for me to give the start signal.”

Harvey glanced over Linkara’s shoulder to where the two men stood. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Kid. The race seems to have been canceled.”

“Huh?” Linkara turned around and watched as Boffo offered his sled to a few children from neighboring cabins who seemed to have damaged their own. Ninja-Style Dancer was also watching and tapping his foot impatiently, seemingly annoyed by this turn of events. Finally, he threw up his hands and completed a few hand signals before vanishing completely. “Oh. Yeah, I guess it is canceled. So,” Linkara said, turning back to slip his arms around Harvey, “what was that about a romantic walk in the woods?”

“Huh?” Harvey was staring over Linkara’s shoulder again, only this time on a different person of interest. “Hey, get a load of Junior. He isn’t half bad.”

“90s Kid?” Linkara turned back just in time to watch the teenager ride a snowboard in a zig-zag path down an even higher hill than the one he’d been sledding upon. 90s Kid was beaming brightly as he careened down the slope and performed several tricks for the onlookers, including pressing the nose of his board down into the snow to lift up the back end, and pressing the back end of the board down to pop himself into the air for a short amount of time. He even managed to spin around twice after a convenient bump in the path gave him some necessary air.

“Dudes! This totally rocks!” he cried out when at last his board reached solid ground. “Did you, like, see my awesome moves?”

“Very impressive, 90s Kid!” Linkara called back while Harvey nodded approvingly at the teen and Boffo honked his horn a few times.

“Thanks, dudes! I’m totally hitting this slope again!” 90s Kid bent down to unstrap the board from his feet, but paused when he heard a voice calling to him from the top of the hill. “Oh, hey Dan!” 90s Kid called, waving happily at his boyfriend. “You gonna show us your awesome ski-moves?”

“That I am, Kid! This will be just like when I’m playing _World Games_ , which just happens to be my favorite winter-themed video game! ” Dan lowered his goggles before pushing off with his ski poles. He moved smoothly, if not too quickly, on a somewhat jagged path down the slope, and seemed to be skiing with ease.

Then, all of a sudden, Dan’s expression changed to one of surprise before his body collapsed and he started rolling down the rest of the hill in a jumbled mass of arms and skis and poles.

“Oh God,” Linkara said, he and Harvey rooted to the spot in shock as they watched the scene. They were only jolted back to their senses when they heard 90s Kid screaming out Dan’s name as he ran toward his boyfriend.


	3. Chapter 3

“DAN!” 90s Kid screamed as he ran toward the patch of snow where Dan had landed, Linkara and the rest of the team hurriedly approaching the spot as well. 90s Kid arrived first and threw himself down to the ground beside his boyfriend, his face red from cold and fear. During his scramble to remove his snowboard and hurry over to Dan, his shades had been knocked off and now hung down by his neck, revealing blue eyes wide with terror. “Dude, are you okay? Say something, Dan! Say you’re okay, man!”

Dan laid face-up on his back, his face also red from the cold, a cut over his left eye bleeding steadily. His poles were bent, laying scattered around him, though his skis seemed to be intact; this was hardly a comfort to 90s Kid, who continued to peer at Dan with worry. Dan’s eyes were closed and though he was taking in shallow breaths, he was silent as he laid there. 90s Kid bit at his bottom lip and reached out, placing a hand on Dan’s arm, when the older man suddenly sat up, gasping.

“Dan!” 90s Kid couldn’t help breaking out into a relieved smile as he grabbed onto Dan’s shoulders to ensure he remained sitting upright. “Dan, are you okay?”

“Aaah!” Dan cried, before reaching down and clutching at his left ankle. He winced as he touched it, squeezing his eyes shut. “Oh God… my ankle!” 90s Kid’s worry returned at once.

“Your ankle? Is it, like, hurt, Dan?” Dan grimaced and managed to nod. “Okay, just hold on.” 90s Kid turned to the others, who had crowded around them to see if Dan was all right. “Dudes, Dan totally hurt his ankle! Should we, like, call an ambulance or something?”

“Well, uh, actually this place isn’t that close to a hospital,” Linkara admitted, looking down in a guilty manner. “When I was looking for cabins, I wanted one somewhere far from civilization, so I chose one where the nearest town with a hospital or doctor’s office is half an hour away. I didn’t realize we’d need one… I’m really sorry…”

Harvey, sensing that Linkara would not be of much use to them if he was drowning in guilt, quickly patted him on the back and decided to take charge. “Kid, we know this wasn’t your fault, so let’s just discuss that later. Right now we’ve gotta get him back to the cabin so the doc can look him over.”

“You’re right, Harvey,” Linkara said, shooting him a quick, grateful smile, before turning his attention to Ninja-Style Dancer, who had reappeared at the sound of trouble. “Ninja, can you help me carry-”

Before Linkara could finish his sentence, 90s Kid surprised them all by scooping Dan up into his arms with ease, managing to avoid being hit with the skis somehow, and starting to trudge through the snow back toward the cabin.

“Th-thanks, Kid.” Dan put his arms around 90s Kid’s neck and buried his face in his shoulder to muffle his moans of pain.

“It’s alright, Dan, I can totally see the cabin already,” 90s Kid reassured, trying to move as fast as he could without dropping him or jostling him too much. “Linksano-dude’s a wiz at this. He’ll help you feel better in no time. You’re gonna be just fine, man, so don’t worry, okay?”

Dan nodded and gripped tighter, biting his lip to stop a particularly loud moan from slipping out. 90s Kid noticed how hard he was working to keep control and pressed his lips to Dan’s forehead before forcing his legs to move faster. They finally reached the cabin at the same time as their teammates, who had been hurrying along beside them. Ninja-Style Dancer appeared in front of them to hold open the door for 90s Kid, while Linkara ran inside ahead of them, calling up the stairs.

“Linksano! Get down here now! We have an emergency!”

“An emergency? What in God’s name happened now?” Linksano scurried out of his room looking slightly panicked, one hand clutching at some silver device no one had ever seen before, but he stopped on the staircase when saw Dan being carried in 90s Kid’s arms. He seemed surprised as he stared at them, but his expression quickly grew serious and he pocketed the gadget. “I’ll be right back!” Linksano headed back up and into his room, returning moments later with his medical bag. “Lay him down so I can examine him, 90s Kid, and tell me what happened.”

90s Kid nodded before carefully settling Dan down on the couch in the living room. After propping a pillow behind Dan’s head, he knelt next to him, taking his hand. “He, like, he took a spill, man, a bogus spill on his skis. We were just, like, playing outside, on the slopes, and it was going so radical-he was fine, he was totally fine, but then he slipped or something, and like, just started rolling down the hill! That part wasn’t radical, dude, not even a little, and now, like, Dan says his ankle kills. So you gotta fix it, Linksano-dude, you just gotta!” 90s Kid talked rather hastily as he struggled not to trip over his words, sounding more flustered and scared the longer he spoke. Harvey put a comforting hand on 90s Kid’s shoulder to help calm him down and the teen looked up gratefully for a moment before putting his full attention back on Dan.

“A skiing accident, I see. I’ve never understood humanity’s desire to try descending down an incline on two thin planks of wood in the first place,” the doctor muttered as he set to work removing Dan’s skis. Linksano was quickly caught up in the examination, feeling a guilty sense of pleasure that he finally had something medical and challenging to distract himself with, not to mention that the others were finally distracted from their annoying sense of holiday cheer. But his conscience quickly got the better of him and he mentally chastised himself for being even a little grateful that an accident had occurred. Linksano redoubled his focus on the task at hand when he found that removing Dan’s left ski and boot would be the trickiest part of the examination. “Please, bear with the pain,” he said in a gentler tone than he normally used. “It’s going to hurt, but once I survey the extent of the damage, I can give you something to alleviate the inflammation.”

90s Kid gripped Dan’s hand and they nodded to each other. “Okay, doc, I’m ready.” Dan closed his eyes and groaned as Linksano removed the ski and boot, squeezing 90s Kid’s hand so tightly it almost made him wince.

“I-is it bad?” 90s Kid managed to ask once Linksano could properly see the injury.

“I’m afraid so.” Everyone else hissed in sympathy when they saw that Dan’s ankle had swollen to about twice its normal size, and the yelp of pain Dan gave when Linksano touched it made it crystal clear that it was not something to take lightly.

“It’s definitely sprained. That was a steep hill you went down, so you’re extremely lucky you didn’t break any limbs,” Linksano told him, rooting in his medical bag for bandages. “Try to keep it as still as possible, rest it on cushions, put ice on it twice a day to keep swelling down, and keep off it for at least a week.” Dan squeezed 90s Kid’s hand again as his ankle was cleaned and bandaged by Linksano. “There, that should do it.” Linksano then set to work cleaning and bandaging the cut on Dan’s forehead before he pulled out a small flashlight and shone it in his eyes. “Now, you might have a concussion, so I’m going to test for that. Did you pass out at all?”

“M-maybe for a few seconds,” Dan admitted. Linksano frowned.

“Hmm. You really shouldn’t have been moved, but getting you out of the cold was a priority I suppose. Anyway, please answer these questions for me: what is your name, where are we right now, and what happened to you?” Dan managed to answer each question, albeit slower than he usually would, while Linksano nodded and moved back from Dan before holding out three fingers. “How many fingers do you see?”

Dan squinted a little, on account of the snow staining his glasses. “Three.”

“Good. Alright, you don’t appear to have a concussion, but we’re going to monitor you for a little while. If you feel nauseous or any pain in your head, let us know at once, Dan.” Linksano turned to 90s Kid then. “90s Kid, I’m trusting you to keep Dan awake for a few hours so you can also observe him. If he seems dizzy, has a headache, or any sort of malady not relating to his ankle, let me know at once.”

“You can count on me,” 90s Kid said, sounding very solemn. His expression softened at once when Dan groaned again.

“D-did you say you had something for pain, doc?” Dan asked through grit teeth.

“I did. Will one of you fetch a glass of water for me? Oh, and some ice wrapped in a washcloth, if you don’t mind?”

“On it!” Linkara and Harvey hurried off to bring the requested items while Linksano pulled out a bottle of pills from his medical bag. He shook out two and gave them to Dan, while Linkara handed over the glass. Dan swallowed them quickly and chugged the water before lying back, resting his head against the pillow.

“Dan? You feeling better?” 90s Kid asked softly, still holding tightly to his hand. “I was so totally freaked when I saw you falling and then just, like, laying there… so you’re good now?”

“Yeah, Kid, I think I am. Sorry about scaring you before. I guess skiing isn’t as easy as it looks on the NES. Don’t worry about me, though, my ankle feels better already.” Dan smiled up lovingly at him before turning to Harvey, who was settling the ice-filled cloth on the injured area. “Thanks, my golden-throated friend.”

“Think nothing of it,” Harvey dismissed, nodding his head toward Linksano instead. “It’s the doc here who did the real work.”

“You’re right.” Dan directed his smile at Linksano. “Thank you so very much, my healing-handed friend.”

“What? Oh, n-no, that was just the work of a medical professional doing his sworn duty,” Linksano said quickly, the faintest hint of red on his cheeks. “There’s no need for any particular gratitude-”

90s Kid let go of Dan’s hand for just a moment to suddenly pull Linksano into a grateful hug.

“Thank you so much, Linksano! I just know Dan’s totally gonna be okay cuz of you! I’m so totally glad you’re here with us, dude, cuz I dunno what we’d do without you! You’re the most awesome doctor ever!”

Linksano froze up slightly upon being hugged, his cheeks growing even redder, but eventually he found the ability to move his arms again. He awkwardly patted 90s Kid on the back and gave a brief smile.

“Really, it… it was nothing… but I humbly accept your thanks.”

Dan gave a rather loud yawn then and 90s Kid let Linksano go so he could kneel down next to him, taking his hand once more.

“You feeling sleepy, dude?”

“Just a little,” Dan said, blinking a few times as he struggled to stay alert. “I’ll be alright in a minute, Kid.” 90s Kid’s brow creased with worry before an idea struck him.

“I know! I brought a bunch of games with me in case the snow got too hardcore for us, so we can, like, play one of those! That’ll totally keep you awake! Just wait here, dude, and I’ll be right back!”

As 90s Kid bounded up the stairs to his room, the others decided to depart and leave the pair in peace. Boffo reached out to squeeze Dan’s shoulder and smiled at him, honking his horn a little.

“Don’t worry, my colorful friend, I certainly will take care of myself.”

Linksano packed up his supplies and was about to leave when he felt a pat on the back which almost startled him into dropping his bag.

“I really want to thank you for helping out, Linksano,” Linkara told him with a proud smile. “I think Dan will be okay now thanks to you.”

“Yeah, doc, impressive work,” Harvey added with an approving nod.

*You are always quick and efficient with your skills. I wish I possessed your abilities in the field of medicine.* Boffo also smiled at him and honked his horn in appreciation.

“R-really, it was nothing!” Linksano protested. His face was bright red now and he quivered a little, not at all used to having so much praise directed toward him. “H-he should probably visit a hospital for more professional treatment!”

“Nah, I think I’m just fine and dandy as I am,” Dan replied, his trademark smile sliding into place as the combination of ice and medicine started to work and his pain lessened significantly. “Oh, Kid’s back, and he’s brought Snob! Hey Snob!” Dan waved happily at his neighbor, while Snob sauntered into the living room after 90s Kid wearing a very satisfied expression. 

“Oh my fucking God, that Jacuzzi is the best thing since Susan Anton’s legendary performance in _Goldengirl_ , and it gives about twice as many tickles to my nether regions.”

“Charming,” Harvey muttered with a shake of his head before he reached out to take Linkara’s hand. “Come on, Kid, let’s give that walk a second shot.”

*Boffo, we should also return to our race, if you can find another sled, that is.* Boffo chuckled and nodded, turning to walk out after the ninja. Linksano, feeling relieved that he was no longer the center of attention, turned back to Dan and 90s Kid.

“Remember, contact me at once if he shows any signs of distress or ailment.” With that, he returned to his room upstairs and shut the door.

Snob realized that something had happened and he stared down at Dan’s ice-covered ankle with a bored expression. “Oh, did you hurt yourself or something?”

“Oh, you’re such a joker, Snob. I’m sure you heard all the commotion and figured I had been injured, which led you to come down here, sit by my side, and offer me sympathy,” Dan said, looking over at him with a grateful expression. Snob’s eyes widened before they darted around the room, searching for where the nearest door was.

“Yeah… that’s it. So, uh, what happened exactly?”

“Dan took a spill on his skis, Snob-dude,” 90s Kid informed him. He pulled a chair over beside the couch and sat down before reaching out to rub Dan’s hair with his free hand. “But he’s totally gonna be okay. Linksano-dude says it’s just a sprained ankle and junk. So you don’t have to worry or anything.”

“Yeah, I don’t want you worrying yourself into a frenzy over me, Snob,” Dan said seriously. “I know you’re already upset enough about your special someone being in the great white north right now, so you shouldn’t add worries about me on top of all that.” Snob grit his teeth at that remark and he spun around.

“Well, Dan, I can’t help but worry about you. You are a… g-good friend of mine…” Snob seemed to shudder as he said that, but luckily the pair didn’t notice, “so I think I’ll just drive into town and pick up some, uh, some painkillers. For you.”

“Aww, Snob, that’s so sweet of you,” Dan said, again not noticing how Snob shuddered while he pulled on his winter coat. “Though I think Doctor Linksano has a fair supply in his little black bag.”

“Yeah, well, you never know when that’s going to run out. Better to be safe than sorry.” Snob walked back to the stairs. “Your car keys are in your room on the dresser, right Dan?”

“Yep, the one right by the door.” Snob quickly found them and gave a slight nod to the couple before he hurried out the door.

“Isn’t he the greatest friend ever?” Dan asked once the car had peeled out and driven off.

“Totally!” 90s Kid agreed before he held up two different games. “So, Dan, you in the mood for _Mousetrap_ or _Hungry, Hungry Hippos_?”

\-----

Once he was alone again, Linksano found himself growing incredibly restless. He paced back and forth through the small bedroom, his mind whirling as he struggled to come up with a solution to his agitation. He wasn’t tired, so he couldn’t take an afternoon nap, he wasn’t in the mood to read any of the books he’d brought along, and he certainly wasn’t in the mood for socializing. Not after that embarrassing display of thanks that the scientist was certain he didn’t deserve.

How could he deserve such kind words? He wasn’t any great hero, he hadn’t saved Dan’s life, he’d merely slapped some gauze on him and dispensed a few pills to keep him quiet. That wasn’t anything worthy of thanks.

Besides, he’d felt a sort of happiness when he’d discovered that Dan was injured and needed his help, and Linksano was slightly sickened by that realization. What kind of doctor felt happy to have patients? True, he was more a scientist than a medical doctor, but even still, he had completed medical school and taken the Hippocratic Oath all the same, which meant he was sworn not to cause harm in others, and, unofficially, not to feel pleasure when others came to harm on their own.

If Wayne could see him now, Linksano knew he’d be ashamed. They had talked for so long about becoming doctors and scientists together, of creating things for the good of mankind and helping their fellow humans live better lives, of impressing certain golden-haired beauties...

Linksano shook his head. “No. Stop it. Stop wallowing. You don’t deserve to, not after the choices you’ve made.” He sighed as he tried to keep memories of Lord Vyce from flooding his mind. Why had it ended up like this? Why had Linksano given up? Why had he been swayed to the side of darkness? Why had it been so easy for him to flee at the first sign of danger? Is that why he could no longer return to his universe? Was it a punishment for his earlier cowardice and betrayal?

“Oh, I can’t take this!” Dwelling on such thoughts would only drive him to more poor decisions. Linksano needed to occupy his mind with something else, something complicated but logical, which he could pour all of his focus into. Finding nothing of the sort in his room, he headed downstairs, feeling disappointment that Dan was still doing fine, which was followed by even more guilt, before he walked outside. There had to be some problem he could work on out there, some car that wasn’t working, some child who was sick from being out in the snow too long.

“Aha!” Linksano turned his attention upwards and noticed that one of the strings of Christmas lights on the roof of the cabin was only half lit-up. “Yes, an electrical problem! I can surely solve this if I put my mind to it!” Linksano hurried around the area, procuring a ladder and a toolbox from one of the neighboring cabins, before returning to set things up. Once the ladder was in place and he’d made sure he had his own personal tools in his coat as always, Linksano climbed up and set to work inspecting the string. After a good hour and half, a small electrocution, and a quick blast from one of his mini-lasers, Linksano was glad to finally see every light in the row shining a colorful glow.

“At last, it is fixed.” Feeling a twinge of pride with himself, Linksano climbed back down the ladder and was prepared to return the borrowed items before going inside for a warm beverage.

He wasn’t prepared to find Boffo at the bottom of the ladder already holding one in his hands.

“Eh?” Linksano was very startled when he saw he wasn’t alone. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here, Boffo?”

Boffo smiled and held out the mug to Linksano. Linksano peered down at it, realizing from the marshmallows floating amidst the sea of brown that it was hot cocoa.

“For me?” Boffo nodded. “But why?” To Linksano’s surprise, Boffo reached into his pocket and pulled out one of Ninja-Style Dancer’s cards, which, like the ninja’s, already had words written on it.

_*You have done so many nice things for us all. Not only did you help Dan, but you were kind enough to fix these lights so we could all enjoy them. I thought a person who was that kind deserved a hot chocolate. I hope you enjoy it.*_

Linksano stared at the note in utter bafflement. Boffo realized that he seemed unwilling to take the drink on his own, so he pushed it into Linksano’s hands. Linksano took it without really noticing before he shot Boffo a suspicious look.

“Alright, what is this? What’s your angle?” Boffo’s expression grew confused and he shook his head, not understanding. “Why are you being so nice to me? Not only now, but earlier, and in the car too. What do you want from me?”

Boffo’s eyes widened before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. He turned the card he’d previously written on over and pressed it against the side of the cabin before he started to write again. Even though the team could mostly understand what he was saying with just the use of his horn, sometimes for more complex thoughts, Boffo liked to turn to words for help.

Linksano continued to watch him suspiciously, holding the mug of cocoa with only his fingertips, as if afraid it would start attacking him at any moment. While he couldn’t read what Boffo was writing from where he stood, he couldn’t help but notice how rounded and loopy the clown’s handwriting looked. It was childish in a way, and strange to look at, since it was very different from the small, neat letters Linksano made. He wasn’t really sure why he was focusing on how Boffo wrote, but it made him feel slightly better to judge the other man’s handwriting.

Finally, Boffo finished, but instead of holding up the paper again, he just handed it to Linksano before turning around and walking off. Linksano stared after him, still completely confused as to what was going on, but once he was alone again, he lowered his eyes to the page.

_*I’m sorry if what I’ve been doing has upset you. That was never my intention. I only thought that you seemed sad, sadder than you usually are, so I was trying to cheer you up. I thought maybe if you were happy, you would enjoy the trip more and would like to celebrate with us all. I only wanted to help. You are a fine member of this team and a good person, so it makes me feel bad to see you so down all the time. I see now that I haven’t been helping at all, so please accept my apologies. I won’t bother you anymore. You can still drink the cocoa, though. I melted in some peanut butter chips, since I know you enjoy them.*_

Linksano read and re-read the note almost twenty times before he realized there was no hidden message or ulterior motive to it. Then he slowly brought the mug to his lips and took a sip.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some sexual content.

“I win again, dude! That’s, like, 5 in a row!” 90s Kid threw down his last _Uno_ card and stood up to do a quick victory dance, which always made Dan chuckle. He’d been on quite the winning streak for the past three days, coming up victorious in _Pick-Up Sticks_ , _Go-Fish_ , and _Monopoly Jr._ just to name a few. Fortunately, Dan was a good winner, and he always paid the debt he owned 90s Kid whenever he lost, which was a kiss on the lips. (When 90s Kid lost, he had to kiss Dan on the lips too, but he usually preferred kissing his neck just to make Dan squirm.)

“You certainly are on fire lately, Kid,” Dan said, picking up the deck to shuffle it. He happened to glance out the window as he did and noticed several kids were snowboarding down the slopes in the distance. “Hey, Kid, why don’t you head on out there? It looks like it’s the perfect time for catching some air, as you so eloquently put it.”

“Huh?” 90s Kid looked out the window as well. “Oh, no thanks, Dan. I’m cool in here.”

Dan frowned and set the deck down. “Kid, you’ve been cooped up in here with me for days now. As much as I appreciate the company, I feel bad you aren’t getting to enjoy any time outside. I know you were excited to snowboard and sled when we were here, and now you’ve barely done any of that. It’s Christmas Eve already and we’re going to be heading back soon. Shouldn’t you take this opportunity to go out and have some fun? ”

“I am having fun, Dan.” Dan shot him a skeptical look, so 90s Kid raised his shades and stared him directly in the eyes. “Dude, I’m having fun. I like playing all these games, they’re totally awesome! And I know I was excited about boarding and stuff before, but I was most excited about getting to see you, Dan.” 90s Kid reached out to take his hand. “I wanted to spend Christmas with you, and cuz of your ankle, I, like, got to see you even more! I love being with you, dude. It’s making Christmas so radical. Besides, I can go snowboarding anytime now that I have Linksano’s teleporty thing.”

“Oh right!” Dan said, smiling as he remembered how 90s Kid had surprised him a few days ago. “I almost forgot about that!”

“I totally didn’t!” 90s Kid replied, before he squeezed Dan’s hand gently. “Anyway, don’t feel bad, dude, cuz the most important thing about this trip was us being together. So don’t think I’m not having fun, Dan. Beating you all the time is totally extremely fun.” 90s Kid broke out into a smile when Dan laughed before he bent down to kiss him.

“Alright, Kid, you’ve convinced me. So, what game is your winning streak finally going to end on?”

“Chaa, you wish,” 90s Kid said with a snicker. “Why don’t we try some Crazy 8s? That is totally my game.”

“Oh ho, so you haven’t realized that I am one with the 8s?” Dan teased, handing over the _Uno_ cards in exchange for the regular deck. Just then Harvey and Linkara came inside, their faces red and speckled with snowflakes. “Ah, greetings friends!”

“Hey Dan. 90s Kid.” Linkara shook the snow from his hat before pulling off his coat and gloves.

“It’s getting nippy out there,” Harvey informed them as he unwrapped the scarf from his throat. “You two’d best be careful if you plan on going out.”

“No chance of that here!” Dan happily replied while 90s Kid nodded in agreement.

“Shit, it’s fucking freezing out there.” Everyone looked as Snob came inside, also red-faced and covered with snowflakes. Harvey frowned at his language while Linkara offered him a sympathetic nod.

“Yeah, I know a thing or two about cold winters, and this is one of the worst I’ve been through.”

“Well, then, it’s a shame you don’t have your own luxurious hot tub to warm up in,” Snob remarked in such a smug manner that Linkara lost all traces of sympathy for him. “I think I’ll just be on my way up there now. I’d love a good soak before dinner. See you all later.”

“Bye Snob!” Dan called after him, waving enthusiastically.

“I don’t know why I ever gave him the benefit of the doubt,” Harvey muttered to Linkara when Snob was gone. “He’s rotten to the core, that one.”

“Just forget him, Harvey,” Linkara advised as he put his hat back on. “Come on, let’s find something to warm us up.”

“Hey, Linkara, Harvey-dude! We have hot chocolate if you want some?” 90s Kid gestured toward a tray of cups sitting on the coffee table. “Boffo totally made them a little while ago, so you can, like, drink up.”

“Sold!” Linkara quickly sat down besides 90s Kid and took a long sip from one of the steaming mugs. “Ahhh, that hits the spot.”

“I gotta remember to tip that clown more.” Harvey picked up his own mug and sighed with relief after having a drink. “Mmm, and with just enough marshmallows for me to enjoy.”

“Boffo’s totally good at making awesome cocoa,” 90s Kid agreed before he noticed Dan shuffling the cards again. “Oh, dudes, I have the mot rad idea! Why don’t you, like, play some cards with us! It’s getting boring just beating Dan anyway.”

“Someone’s getting mighty confident over here,” Dan teased, earning a giggle from the teen. Linkara looked over to Harvey, who shrugged and nodded.

“Sure, we can do that. It’ll help us warm up, I bet.” He and Harvey quickly arranged chairs around the table and watched as Dan dealt.

“I haven’t played cards in a while, so I hope I’m not too rusty,” Harvey admitted. “So, what’s the game? High Chicago? Follow the Queen?”

“Crazy 8s!” 90s Kid didn’t catch Harvey’s groan at this revelation since he was too busy peering at his hand. “Actually, I know a way to make this game even more radical! Let’s make it a game of Crazy 8s Countdown!”

“What’s that, Kid?” Dan and the others were looking at him curiously so 90s Kid quickly explained.

“It’s like, you play a regular hand of Crazy 8s, but then, when the first dude goes out, instead of winning, he picks up 7 new cards and plays Crazy 7s. Then, if he goes out first again, he picks up 6 cards and plays Crazy 6s. And everybody does that all the way down to 1 until some dude wins.”

Linkara shot 90s Kid a look. “Are you sure that’s a real game, 90s Kid? Because it kind of sounds like you made it up.”

“Nuh uh!” 90s Kid insisted, shaking his head wildly. “I totally played that before, at school and junk! It’s really real, I swear!”

“I believe you, Kid,” Dan said, earning himself a grin which meant he’d get a special kiss on the neck the next time they were alone. “And I am prepared to claim my due victory.”

“Eh, sure, whatever,” Linkara said, shrugging in defeat. “Harvey, is this okay with you?”

“So I’m guessing you don’t play for money with this game?” Harvey sighed at their negative answers and leaned back in his chair. “Okay, fine, let’s get this show on the road.”

The show didn’t really get on the road until an hour later, when Dan finally managed to get rid of his Crazy 1.

“Yes! I told you I was one with the 8s!” 90s Kid smiled at him.

“Aww, good job, dude. That was awesome. But also, just luck. Let’s, like, keep playing for second place, and I’ll totally show you some Crazy 8s skills!”

Three minutes later, Harvey threw down his last card. “Well, there’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.”

“Aww,” 90s Kid pouted a little as he stared at his remaining cards. “Come on, Linkara-dude, play for third with me! I know I can get third!”

“Fine.”

A minute later, Linkara came in third, and 90s Kid threw down his cards in disgust. “You dudes totally stole all my luck.”

“I thought you played with skill, not luck,” Linkara teased. 90s Kid pouted at him some more until Dan reached out to squeeze his hand, and then he cheered right up again.

“Oh my Christ was that a good soak.”

“Oh jeez,” Harvey murmured as Cinema Snob returned to the living room. “Look who’s back.”

“Hey Snob!” Dan once again waved at him. “Have you decided to join our festivities?”

“I’d need a fucking drink before I joined in any festivities with you,” Snob muttered, before suddenly rubbing his chin and raising an eyebrow as he got an idea. “Say, Dan, speaking of drinks as we were, why don’t I go out and get some brandy to enjoy? It’ll definitely do wonders at numbing any annoying, pestering, irritating pains that might be plaguing us during this vacation.” His words gave no uncertain meaning to what he meant and Snob looked pointedly at Dan as he said them, but Dan, as usual, didn’t notice a thing.

“You would do that for me?” Dan asked, his eyes tearing up a bit with gratitude. “Oh, Snob, you’re the best friend anyone could ask for!” 90s Kid nodded, also not understanding Snob’s jibe, and they watched happily as Snob rolled his eyes, stepped into his loafers by the front door, and went out to the car without another word.

“I don’t get it. What does he see in that guy?” Harvey whispered to Linkara, who could only shrug as he was also utterly clueless about Dan and Snob’s friendship.

“Come on, dudes, best two out of three, okay?” 90s Kid held up the cards eagerly and waved them at Harvey and Linkara. They shared a look of dread before Linkara started to cough.

“Oh, uh, looks like the Kid here could use some assistance,” Harvey said, quickly putting his arms around Linkara and guiding him to the staircase. “You two go ahead without us, since we could be a while.”

“Okay, see you dudes later then.”

“Bye!”

Once they were upstairs, Linkara stopped his pretend cough and sighed. “That was close.”

“Yeah, too close.”

“Come on, Harvey, let’s go lie down or something. I really need to relax.” Linkara was about to walk into their bedroom when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked back at Harvey, who sported a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“You want to relax, Kid? I think I know the perfect way. But first, we need some more appropriate duds."

\-----

“Harvey, this idea could get us into so much trouble!” Linkara whispered in the voice of a giddy teenager as he grinned at the older man. “I knew there was a reason I loved you.”

Harvey grinned back. “That and my good looks, right?” They both laughed before making sure the coast was clear. Then they slipped into the only private bedroom in the cabin, making a beeline for the Jacuzzi. “Come on, Kid, let’s prove that we are anything but a boring couple.”

“I never thought you were boring,” Linkara replied, his voice low and sultry. “You were always an exciting man of mystery and danger to me, Harvey.”

“Danger, huh? I laugh in the face of danger, Kid, though I think you’ll find this well worth the risk.” Harvey pressed a button on the tub and smiled as he saw the jets start to bubble up. “After you, my love.”

Linkara giggled. “You just wanna watch me strip, don’t you?” Harvey gave him his trademark crooked smile and pulled Linkara into his arms, kissing him deeply.

“You got it, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Now, don’t keep me waiting.” Linkara’s face flushed, but he gladly pulled off the sash from his blue silk robe and let it slither to the floor, allowing Harvey to admire him for a moment before he climbed into the hot tub and moaned.

“Oh, wow… this feels perfect…” Harvey quickly followed suit, shedding his black silk robe and sliding his body in, letting out his own moan as he pulled Linkara into his arms.

“You said it…” Harvey sighed, resting his chin on Linkara’s shoulder, then tilting his head to kiss him. “Mmm, those jets really hit you in all the right places…”

Linkara spun about in his arms until they were face-to-face, pressed so close together, giving each other deep kisses that grew more and more passionate. “Oh, Harvey…” Linkara breathed as he felt the older man’s hands trail up and down his naked body, which was soothed in unbelievable ways by the bubbling water. He gasped as he felt strong hands squeezing his backside, sliding along the backs of his thighs, then up again.

Harvey maneuvered himself so he was hugging Linkara from behind, his lips teasing at his neck, hands roaming all about. “Just relax for me, Kid…” he whispered into his ear, watching Linkara’s eyes close as he started to lose himself. “Focus on how good this feels… how good it feels when I touch here…” Linkara moaned when he felt fingers deftly teasing at his nipples.

“And here…” Harvey trailed his hands down Linkara’s quivering stomach to his aching cock, wringing a whimper from Linkara’s throat as he stroked it beneath the water.

“And…here…” Harvey whispered as he pressed his erection right against Linkara’s backside, making him gasp. He wasn’t deep enough to go inside, but he was pressed close enough to make Linkara ache for it and be driven even madder by the sensations happening all over his body. Linkara pressed his hips back against him, putting his hands over Harvey’s. “That feel good, Linkara?”

“H-Harvey…oh God…feels so-”

“What the goddamned FUCK are you two DOING?!”

Harvey and Linkara hastily clutched onto each other and made sure the water was covering them at neck level when a familiar voice startled them out of their seduction. They looked up and saw Cinema Snob was staring down at them in horror, a brown paper bag in his hand. Apparently, he really had gone into town for just one bottle of brandy. Snob floundered for a few moments, his mouth moving up and down but with no sound coming out, while Linkara and Harvey held extremely still and stared up at him.

Finally, Snob reached into the bag he held and unscrewed the cap, taking a large swig of brandy before exiting the room again without a word.

Linkara’s face had gone bright red, but it had nothing to do with the heat. “I-I think we’d better get out, Harvey.”

Harvey sighed, feeling upset that their hot tub encounter had been ruined. “Are you sure, Kid?” Linkara reached for Harvey’s hand and placed it upon his crotch once more.

“I think he killed it.” Harvey raised an eyebrow at him, before lifting Linkara up slightly to rest him on one of the seats inside the tub. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t think he’ll be coming back in here. Besides, as a Naval officer, I am trained in basic first aid, including CPR.” He took a deep breath and ducked himself under the water.

“You-what? What are you…” Linkara trailed off as he felt something even warmer and wetter start to overwhelm him. “You…oooh…” He closed his eyes and moaned, feeling like maybe he could be resuscitated after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Cinema Snob hastily trudged down the stairs, taking another swig straight from the brandy bottle. After catching Linkara and Harvey in his hot tub, he needed to somehow rid his mind of that horrifying image. Snob had seen some freaky things in his time: zombie porn, nun mutilation, genital wart-ridden sex, but somehow, having to witness a pasty internet reviewer and his middle-aged lover defiling the one thing that had been giving him pleasure this past week? It was so much worse than any other atrocity Snob had ever seen.

“Fuck them!” Snob decided as he wiped a dribble of brandy from his mouth. “Stupid fucking so-called friends! Who needs them?”

As he approached the kitchen, Snob narrowed his eyes as he took in the sight of Ninja-Style Dancer, who bowed and held up a card to him.

*Greetings, friend. I have prepared a traditional eggnog bowl for us all to enjoy, so please have a glass if you feel so inclined. I have also prepared hot buttered rum and mulled wine, to suit everyone’s various tastes.* The ninja gestured toward the beverages before turning his back to attend to some treats he had in the oven.

Snob grunted and reached for a cup, ladling some eggnog into it. After taking a sip, his face screwed up in distaste. “There’s no fucking booze in this? What kind of people are these? I should be getting shit-faced just from inhaling this stuff!” Snob suddenly remembered the brandy bottle in his hand and turned it on its end, dumping the entire three quarters remaining contents into the bowl. After stirring it around with the ladle for a moment, he refilled his cup and nodded approvingly. “That’s more like it.”

Snob carried his drink into the living room where he saw Boffo sitting down at the grand piano, flexing his fingers out a bit. He watched, half-disinterested, and didn’t return the smile or the cheerful wave the clown gave him. “I hate the fucking circus,” Snob muttered as he took another sip of his eggnog. Then he was almost startled into dropping his cup into his lap when he heard the opening to Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite being performed flawlessly.

At the sound of the piano, Dan, who was still on the couch playing checkers with 90s Kid, turned to watch Boffo perform and soon he was bobbing his head along to the tune. “Wow, my colorful friend, you have very skilled hands!” Boffo smiled and continued playing, his nimble fingers positively dancing across the black and white keys. The music floated throughout the cabin, including up the stairs, and soon it drew the others out into the living room as well. Harvey and Linkara, fully dressed if still slightly dampened, both looked pleasantly surprised when they saw Boffo playing, and Ninja-Style Dancer gave his friend a round of applause. Even Linksano came out from the solitude of his bedroom to see what was happening, although he remained at the top of the stairs as he listened, his eyes closed and his hands gripping tightly to an old book he’d been reading.

*The Nutcracker is one of my favorite ballets and you certainly do its score justice.* Ninja-Style Dancer began to twirl around the room, getting completely lost in the music.

“Boffo, that’s amazing! I had no idea you could play piano,” Linkara exclaimed, watching with admiration and slight jealousy as he wished he’d brought his violin with him. Harvey grinned over at the clown, feeling his respect for Boffo grow at the revelation of such musical talent.

“Yeah, great chops there, Chuckles. Say, y’know any bouncier holiday tunes?” Boffo paused his playing and reached for his horn, giving an inquisitive honk. “Name that tune, eh? Lemme get myself a drink and I’ll take you up on that.”

“A drink sounds great about now.” Linkara turned to follow Harvey into the kitchen, but flushed bright red when he caught sight of Snob sitting in the corner drinking his eggnog. Snob noticed him and the glare in his eyes gave no mystery as to what was on his mind. Harvey caught the looks and swiftly put an arm around his boyfriend, leading him over to where Ninja had laid out the drinks.

“Yeah, you look like you could use a drink too, Kid.” Harvey gladly reached for two mugs of hot buttered rum, handing one to Linkara, before they sipped the sweet beverages with relish. “Mmm, Christmas in a cup right here.”

Linkara looked to him gratefully, glad that Harvey could always manage to calm him down, no matter what the situation, and clinked his mug with Harvey’s. “I think this is the perfect time to relax with some music.” They walked back over to the piano, not noticing Linksano, who had quietly padded down the stairs and was now slowly approaching the table. A part of him felt like he was intruding upon a celebration he didn’t truly belong in, but then Ninja-Style Dancer caught sight of him and underneath his mask he smiled at the scientist.

*Hello, roommate. I haven’t seen much of you this trip, but I hope you’ve been enjoying this wondrous winter environment.*

“Oh, uh, yes,” Linksano answered, unsure of what else he should say. He looked back down to the refreshments and hesitantly reached out toward a cup. “Normally I’m not one for drinking spirits, but tonight I think I’d like to partake."

*Please, go ahead.* The ninja encouraged him. *I predict that you’ll find something to your liking.*

Linksano nodded and picked up a glass of mulled wine, sipping slowly at first, then more quickly when he realized he was indeed liking it. “This is delicious!” he told Ninja-Style Dancer, who smiled again, his eyes crinkling.

*I hoped you would like it. I heard about you working to fix our cabin’s lighting problem, so I wanted to make something you would enjoy as a way of saying thank you.* Linksano’s expression grew surprised.

“How did you-” He trailed off as the answer became clear to him. Linksano turned and started to walk out into the living room when, thinking better of himself, he grabbed a glass of eggnog before strolling to the piano.

Boffo glanced up at his approach before turning his eyes back to the piano keys. Obviously he wanted to make good on his word to not bother Linksano anymore, but to his surprise Linksano was the one making a gesture this time as he held out the glass to hm.

“Erm, I know you’re not fond of alcoholic beverages and, uh, consider this a repayment for the cocoa, will you?” Linksano asked awkwardly, his fingers tapping nervously over his own glass. “And, for the record, you weren’t bothering me. I’m, uh, just not quite used to other people, erm, taking an interest in my well-being.”

Boffo stilled his hands and blinked in surprise for a moment. Then he smiled and took the glass to clink against Linksano’s before resting the glass on the top of the instrument, explaining with his horn that he liked to save rewards until after he had finished a job. Linksano tried to think of something else to say to him, and though it pained him to give compliments sometimes, he figured he needed to atone for the ones he had been given by the team, Boffo in particular. “I-I admire that you are classically trained. I do greatly enjoy c-classical piano, er, such as that you were just playing… it was lovely…” Linksano blushed then and, without waiting for a reply, turned to stroll over to an empty chair, where he slumped down, opened his book, and forced his eyes to read the words printed on the page.

Boffo looked after him for a moment before he felt Harvey’s hand on his shoulder. “Think you can play a duet for the Kid and me?” Boffo nodded to him and smiled, playing the opening notes to “Here We Come a Wassailing”, which Linkara and Harvey gladly plunged into, their drinks still warm within their hands.

90s Kid groaned slightly as he was bested by Dan for the third time in checkers. “I knew your winning streak would wane eventually, Kid,” Dan teased before receiving a grin and, when 90s Kid was sure nobody was looking, a quick smooch on the neck that made him squirm a bit. “Wanna play again?”

“You know it, dude. But you mind if I, like, get some nog first?”

“Not at all, as long as you bring me a mug of rum while you’re at it!”

“You got it!” 90s Kid kissed Dan again before getting up and bounding over to the punchbowl, grabbing a cup, and ladling a good amount of eggnog into it. He took a big slurp and frowned into it as he smacked his lips. “This stuff tastes funny...” 90s Kid drained the rest of his glass but couldn’t figure out what was in it that gave it such an odd flavor. He ladled himself another three glasses and chugged those down, but still couldn’t place the peculiar zest in this batch of eggnog. Finally, he shrugged and gave up trying to solve that mystery. “Ninja-dude’s probably just using, like, a new recipe or something.” 90s Kid didn’t want to hurt his friend’s feelings by not drinking what he’d worked so hard on, and after getting used to the taste, he realized he didn’t find it to be that bad after all, so he poured himself yet another cup before grabbing a mug of rum for Dan and returning to their game.

The song ended and Boffo paused to sip his drink, giving it a strange look in the process, before he set it down again to begin playing “Angels We Have Heard On High”. Linkara and Harvey continued to sing aloud, their voices blending in pleasant harmony together. The mood in the living room grew very quiet and calm, the glow of the roaring fire adding the perfect ambiance to the scene. Even Snob quit thinking unpleasant thoughts as everyone enjoyed being in each other’s company for once.

“Mmm…” Dan murmured as he sipped his rum. “I wish I had a marvelous live-in cook like you guys do.” 90s Kid sipped some more at his eggnog before jumping over three of Dan’s pieces.

“Yes, Ninja-Style Dancer is very good at cooking. He’s almost as good as Harvey, although don’t tell him I said that or I’m sure to be served only rice for a week.” Dan frowned slightly, unused to hearing 90s Kid say such precise sentences, before shrugging it off and making his move. 90s Kid studied the board a moment before he jumped four more opposing pieces and landed on the end of Dan’s side of the board. “King me.”

Dan’s eyebrows lifted in shock. 90s Kid had cleared nearly half the board in only a few moves, and he’d asked to be kinged without yelling out in victory, like he always did. “Kid, are you feeling okay?”

“I am perfectly fine, Dan. Why do you ask?” 90s Kid looked calmly to him and Dan felt slightly unsettled. “Perhaps you are growing tired of this game? I wouldn’t mind trying a round of chess, myself. I’ve always found it to be a challenging game, but one which holds deeper meaning when you start to think about it.”

“You… what?” Dan was starting to grow worried. 90s Kid wasn’t using his usual ‘dudes’ or ‘likes’ or any of the common slang that punctuated his conversation. Moreover, when had he become interested in chess and why was he speaking like Linksano?

“Oh yes, Dan, chess holds a definite parallel to our lives,” 90s Kid continued, taking off his shades to peer dully at his boyfriend. “Really, aren’t we all just pieces being moved around a gameboard by invisible forces beyond our control until our eventual demise?”

Dan felt a knot of worry arise in his stomach. What had happened to 90s Kid? He wasn’t acting like himself at all and his responses were so startlingly clear and worse, so cold and depressing. Dan looked to the others at the piano and called out to them.

“Hey, Linkara, Harvey? Please forgive me for interrupting your duet, but I don’t think 90s Kid is feeling very well.” Harvey looked annoyed at having his performance interrupted, but he and Linkara went over to the couch to see what was happening.

“It’s your turn, Dan.” Wanting to keep 90s Kid calm in case something was really wrong with him, Dan moved his piece before 90s Kid jumped another five pieces, clearing the entire board.

“Sooo, you called us over here because 90s Kid beat you at checkers? Yeah, something must definitely be wrong,” Linkara joked with a slight chuckle.

“It is not that, Linkara. Dan is merely perturbed that I managed to claim eleven of his pieces in only three turns,” 90s Kid said, his voice calm, clear, and collected. Linkara’s eyebrows shot into his hairline and Harvey immediately beckoned to Linksano. The doctor had already closed his book and was hurrying over.

“Did I just hear the word ‘perturbed’ coming out of your mouth?”

“Yes, you did. It was the fourth word of the second sentence that I said.” 

Linksano gave 90s Kid a concerned look as he bent down to better examine the teen. “Could someone fetch my bag from my room?” Boffo nodded and hastily scurried up the stairs while Linksano turned 90s Kid’s face toward him, peering deeply into his eyes. Dan was even more worried at how they seemed dimmer than before, somehow, and lacked their usual happiness and warmth.

“Please tell me your name, where you are, and what you’re doing right now.”

“My name is 90s Kid. I am sitting on a couch in this cabin, located somewhere in northwestern Minnesota. I just finished playing checkers with 80s Dan and am now talking to you, Doctor Linksano.” Linkara and Harvey shared a panicked look; this was not like the teenager at all. Ninja-Style Dancer came over with a platter of cookies, unaware of what was going on, and 90s Kid observed it. “You have prepared a dozen cookies, with 4 candy canes, 4 snowmen, and 4 stars. If my olfactory organ hasn’t failed me, you prepared them with flour, sugar, eggs, butter, vanilla, and just a hint of lemon zest.”

Ninja-Style Dancer stared at him. *Am I the victim of some elaborate practical joke?*

“Kid, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Dan reached out to rub his cheek, his voice growing higher in pitch as he struggled to hold back the panic he was feeling. “Why are you acting like this? Is this some sort of game, because it’s not really very funny. Actually, it’s kind of scaring me, so could you maybe stop doing this?” 90s Kid turned to him, his expression blank, his eyes vacant.

“I do not know what you mean, Dan. I am not playing any sort of game, aside from the checkers game we just finished.” The team looked each other in worry, wondering what could possibly be happening to the teen to make him act so strange. Boffo came back with Linksano’s medical bag just then and the doctor quickly rooted through it, withdrawing a small scanning device. He waved it over 90s Kid and then he recoiled in slight alarm.

“No…no, this can’t be right…”

“What is it?” Harvey asked him, bending down to read what it was saying. “What the hell does that gobbledygook mean?”

“My scanner is showing that 90s Kid is, to put it in layman’s terms, drunk.” Everyone exchanged shocked looks except 90s Kid, who continued sitting there calmly, staring straight ahead with none of his usual energy or pep.

“What? That’s impossible, he can’t be drunk!” Dan exclaimed. “90s Kid doesn’t drink! Kid, did you drink any of the rum or wine on the table?”

“No, I did not. I consumed four full glasses and three fourths of a fifth glass of eggnog.” 90s Kid picked up his cup to take another sip but Harvey snatched it out of his hands before he could. The singer took a swig and almost choked on it.

“Criminy’s sake, that is _loaded_ with booze!” He turned to Ninja-Style Dancer in shock and rising anger. “Dammit, Ninja, who the hell taught you how to lace an eggnog bowl? It’s supposed to only have traces of hooch! And even still, you should’ve damn well told Junior it was spiked!”

Ninja-Style Dancer looked very offended as he held up a response card. *I did not add any alcohol into the eggnog, since I knew people would like a non-alcoholic alternative. Whoever did this did so without my knowledge, since after the drinks were finished, I put my full attention on baking. Perhaps you should think twice about taking your anger out on me when you don’t have all the facts.*

Harvey sighed, running a hand down his face in frustration. “Okay, you’re right, lost my head there. Sorry about that. Now, who the hell poured a whole damn bottle of sauce into this?” He took another small sip to try to identify what it was. “A whole damn bottle of brandy, to boot!”

“Brandy?” Dan’s head whirled around to the chair in the corner of the room where Cinema Snob was still sitting and drinking out of his glass with a bored expression. The others followed his lead and Snob soon realized that everyone was staring at him. He shrugged.

“Hey, if you’re not gonna finish that glass, I’ll take it. Honestly, who the fuck likes non-alcoholic eggnog?”

Dan stared at Snob, his face aghast, and the others could feel the distress and betrayal he was emitting right then. He surprised them all, though, by suddenly getting up from the couch and limping over to his friend’s chair, his usually warm eyes flashing with anger.

“Snob, how could you do something like that? You know 90s Kid doesn’t drink and has never even been drunk before! Look at him, he’s acting nothing like himself now and it’s scaring me to death! If you wanted to drink, you should’ve just put the brandy into your own glass, or at least you could have warned us about it! How could you do this?”

Snob rolled his eyes and took another sip from his cup. “Oh come on, Dan, you’re acting like I fucking poisoned him or something. He’s just a little wasted. He’ll be fine after some sleep and a few aspirin.”

“Oh…” 90s Kid suddenly moaned and clutched at his head. “I don’t feel good…”

“Kid, are you okay?” Dan cried, whirling back around in worry.

“90s Kid, perhaps you should try this,” Linksano suggested as he pulled a small black bottle from inside his bag. “I’ve been working to create a sort of panacea-type medicine to cure the general ailments humans are commonly afflicted with and while I’m not sure it will work to solve intoxication, it might relieve some of the distress you are feeling.”

“O-okay,” 90s Kid nodded, quickly swallowing one of the pills. He pulled a face afterwards. “That tastes terrible.”

“Maybe we should get some food into him. That might help to soak up some of the alcohol as well,” Linkara suggested as he sat down next to 90s Kid and patted his shoulder in a comforting way. Ninja-Style Dancer quickly handed over the plate of cookies he’d just made.

“Yeah, shove some pills and some cookies down his throat and he’ll be fine,” Snob said, waving the whole thing off. “And hey, who knows, maybe this whole ordeal might finally make the little runt start acting like a man.”

Harvey and Linkara both turned to glare daggers at Snob, but Dan’s look of fury put them both to shame.

“Shut up, Snob! Just shut up! I am sick and tired of your bad attitude and your foul mouth and your complete inability to care for things or people who don’t directly affect your life! Do you even feel a little bit of shame or guilt after doing this to Kid? Do you even realize how much you could have hurt him? And even if you don’t, you can’t even find it in you to keep your rude comments to yourself and not insult him when he’s suffering? Then I am going to have to say good day to our friendship, because you sir are no friend of mine right now!”

Snob couldn’t help staring back up at him in astonishment, and everyone else’s jaws were practically on the floor. They knew Dan worshiped the ground Snob walked on, so to hear him letting loose on Snob, not to mention threatening to end their friendship, really spoke volumes about how angry he was. Not noticing the group’s reactions one bit, Dan turned and hurried over to 90s Kid, ignoring the stabbing pains in his ankle that traveled up his leg, and sat down beside his boyfriend. “Oh, sweetie, are you okay? What can I do? What would help?”

90s Kid chewed on a cookie and squinted at him, as if he were struggling to see clearly. “D-Dan? Is… that you?”

“Yeah, sweetie, it’s me! I think the medicine and cookies are helping!” Dan helped 90s Kid eat some more of the cookies before the teen started to eat a few on his own. “How are you feeling now, 90s Kid?”

“I’m feeling, like, a little better.” Dan exhaled in relief at the familiar speech pattern and kissed his cheek, pulling him close for a hug. 90s Kid suddenly realized that Dan wasn’t lying on the couch anymore. “Dude, what are you doing? You need to rest your ankle, or else it’s totally not gonna get better! Here, hold on, I’ll fix it.” He gently laid Dan down upon the couch again and positioned his ankle on the cushion. “Better?”

Dan smiled and took his hand, glad to see the glow coming back into his eyes, the warmth coming back into his face. “Much better, Kid.” Everyone else gave exhales of relief as things started returning to normal. Dan turned to Linksano and Ninja-Style Dancer with a grin. “Thanks to your beautiful mind, and your baked delights, Christmas Eve is saved!”

“I agree,” Linkara said, feeling relieved that there was no longer a crisis at hand. “Oh! Speaking of Christmas Eve, I think I need to give you guys your presents now.” 90s Kid, suddenly feeling much better, turned to him in excitement at the thought of an early gift, and Linkara was pleased to see that he seemed to be returning to his full self. He went to the tree and reached underneath for a cardboard box that wasn’t wrapped, opened it up, and held up a selection of personalized stockings. “I made you guys some stockings to hang up over the fireplace! I think you should all be able to tell whose is whose.”

“Wow, this is the most awesome stocking ever!” 90s Kid exclaimed as he looked at his.

“I knew I could count on you to add some class to mine, Kid,” Harvey said with a grin, earning a peck on the cheek from his boyfriend.

“I love how my stocking represents the delightful taste and instantly recognizable logo of New Coke,” Dan said with utter delight. Even Snob managed to break out of his daze to arch an eyebrow when he saw his stocking bore the Crystal Pepsi logo.

“Yes, it’s very er, nice. You stitch rather well,” Linksano murmured, still not entirely sure of how to go about compliments. He walked up to the fireplace so he could hang his up and Boffo, after honking his thanks to Linkara, went to hang his colorful stocking next to his. The others came over and followed suit, with 90s Kid putting Dan’s up for him.

*Those were very thoughtful presents, Linkara.* Ninja-Style Dancer said with a bow. *I’m sure they will be filled appropriately by tonight’s visitor.*

“Ooh, I have an idea, dudes!” 90s Kid suddenly looked even more excited. “We totally need to leave out pancakes for Santa Christ!” Linksano couldn’t help rolling his eyes behind his goggles at such a notion.

“Oh, honestly, do you people really believe in that fairy tale?”

Linkara looked at him in surprise. “You don’t believe in Santa Christ, Linksano? But he’s really real. Snob and I have even met him before, right Snob?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Snob said, still not much for talking right now.

“No way, you dudes actually saw Santa Christ?” 90s Kid looked at them in awe. “What’s he like?”

“He’s just as awesome as you could imagine, 90s Kid,” Linkara told him with a smile. “Now, I believe Ninja-Style Dancer has pancakes to make?”

“Ah, not so fast, Kid,” Harvey told them, rubbing his chin as his eyes twinkled. “Why don’t I handle it tonight? It’s Christmas, after all.” Everyone’s faces immediately lit up, save Dan’s and Snob’s, since they weren’t aware that Harvey’s pancakes were one of the best things the singer knew how to make, though he generally only made them on special occasions.

“Does that mean you’ll make some for the rest of us as well?” Linkara asked, feeling a slight growl of excitement in his stomach.

“Please please please please please?” 90s Kid pleaded, looking and sounding like a hopeful child begging for a puppy. Boffo honked with him in unison, his blue eyes shining hungrily. Harvey chuckled and nodded his head, leading to a cheer going up in the room. Linkara pulled him into his arms and gave him a passionate kiss, while Dan looked around, slightly bewildered.

“Are Harvey’s pancakes really that good?”

Ninja-Style Dancer bowed his head as he held up his card. *While Harvey and I may argue over who is the better cook, pancakes are the one dish where I will always concede defeat to him.*

After setting out a plate of fluffy pancakes on the table, which were dripping with butter and maple syrup, everyone else sat down happily to gorge on the rest of Harvey’s makings. Harvey looked at each of the hungry gluttons and was amused to watch them digging in with reckless abandon.

“So, everyone satisfied?”

“Can’t talk. Eating,” 90s Kid mumbled, which Harvey grinned at.

“Ah, that’s what I like to hear.” Linkara wiped some of the syrup from his mouth and kissed Harvey again, who enjoyed tasting the sweetness on his lips.

“Mmm. There is no way I can properly describe the flavor party going on in my mouth right now, my friend,” Dan told him, taking another bite. Snob ate along with them but said nothing, though the absence of his grouchiness and complaining, and the fact that he was the first one to partake in seconds, spoke volumes.

After the pancakes had been devoured, everyone was full, almost sick from sugary sweetness, and very drowsy. They decided it was time to call it a night and made a slow procession up the stairs and into their bedrooms. 90s Kid carried Dan in his arms, the older man’s head happily pillowed on his shoulder. Snob, who was still enjoying the remnants of the eggnog, saw them approach and groaned softly as he anticipated smiles, waves, and hugs, but the two merely walked right past him without comment.

“Uh, night, Dan,” he suddenly blurted out without realizing. “And, uh, about before I, uh, I guess I’m sorry.” The two looked to him and Dan’s expression went blank.

“Mmm.” With that, 90s Kid walked them into their room and shut the door, leaving Snob looking surprised once more.


	6. Chapter 6

Linkara and Harvey jolted up in bed when they heard loud banging on the door. “C'mon, dudes, wake up, it's Christmas!” 90s Kid yelled gleefully from behind the door. They rubbed their eyes and heard 90s Kid travel down the hall, knocking on every door and yelling with the same cheerful voice. Linkara laid back down in bed and looked to the clock.

“Eight in the morning. He let us sleep in this year,” he murmured sleepily. Harvey yawned and let his head rest on the pillows again.

“364 days a year, I can't pry that boy out of bed with a crowbar. But this morning...” He smiled and leaned over to give Linkara a soft kiss on the lips. “I guess we better head downstairs.” Linkara smiled back and wrapped him up in an embrace, inhaling Harvey's scent. 

“Five more minutes.”

\-----

“Ah!” Linksano jolted up in his bed after 90s Kid finished banging on their door and sighed. “I should have known that he’d be back to his usual energetic self on Christmas morning of all times.” He got out of his bed, noting he was the first one up, and carried his clothes into the bathroom to change. Minutes later, he returned to the bedroom to find Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer, now wide awake and fully dressed (including their reindeer antlers), holding a small present wrapped in white paper covered in what looked like math equations.

Boffo honked a good morning while the ninja held up a card covered in red and green ink in the spirit of the season.

*Merry Christmas, Linksano. Everyone chipped in to get you this present so we hope you will enjoy it.*

“For me?” Linksano couldn’t help feeling touched as he took the gift and studied it. “Oh, thank you very much.”

*You are welcome. Please feel free to open it now. Boffo and I made the actual selection of the gift, not to mention the paper, so if there is anything you wish to be changed about it, we can do so before the others know about it.*

“Oh, um, alright then.” Linksano did his best to neatly unfold the paper, trying not to tear it if he could, before he opened the small black box inside and gasped. “Oh! These are beautiful!” Linksano pulled out a new pair of shiny black gloves and gazed at them happily.

*Harvey recommended the store we should purchase them at, since he has the best fashion sense of anyone here.* Ninja-Style Dancer admitted. *So we can presume they are to your liking then?*

Linksano nodded as he pulled off his old gloves and slipped on the new pair. “Yes, very much so! I haven’t owned such a high quality pair of gloves in years! Thank you dearly, Ninja-Style Dancer, Boffo.” For a change, he actually felt like he was deserving of such a wonderful present, and it showed in the awkward smile that he offered the two.

Boffo and Ninja-Style Dancer nodded to each other. *A job well done. Now, let us join the others before they wonder where we have gotten to.*

\-----

After rousing everyone in the cabin, 90s Kid came back into his bedroom, where Dan was already awake and smiling at him from the edge of the bed. “Ready to go downstairs and open presents, Dan?” Dan nodded, but when 90s Kid walked over to help him stand, he pulled the teen down next to him instead.

“Kid, I was wondering if maybe we could exchange our own presents in here first?” Dan asked, his voice soft and slightly insecure. “I, um, I got you something that I think you’ll like, but I think it’d be better if you opened it without the others seeing.” 90s Kid looked curious, but nodded at once.

“Okay, Dan, that sounds awesome to me.” 90s Kid got up to shut the door again before he went to pull Dan’s present out of his duffel bag. At the same time, Dan reached into the bottom drawer of the nightstand for 90s Kid’s gift.

In no time at all 90s Kid and Dan sat on the bed together again, each grinning at the other but also fidgeting a bit nervously at the thought of actually giving each other their Christmas gifts. “So, do you wanna go first?” Dan asked, playing with the brightly wrapped package in his hands.

“I dunno,” 90s Kid replied with a shrug. “Do you wanna go first?” Dan chuckled softly as he realized how childish this all seemed. 

“Here, how about we exchange them and open them at the same time. That sound good to you, Kid?” 90s Kid smiled and nodded before they passed the gifts into each other’s hands. “Okay, on three. One, two, three!” The two tore off the wrapping paper on their gifts and saw almost identical long cardboard boxes, although 90s Kid was the first to open this.

“Oh my gosh! Dan! This-this is awesome!” 90s Kid exclaimed as he took in his present. “Dude, where’d you find this? It’s like, totally perfect!” He reached into the box and pulled out a baby blue Care Bears watch with a picture of Tenderheart Bear under the digital timepiece.

“I’m so happy you like it,” Dan said, looking honestly relieved as he watched 90s Kid examine the watch. “There isn’t a lot of Care Bears stuff that really suits you in the first place, Kid, especially since you already have the plushie, but when I saw this watch with our Tenderheart on it, I just had to get it for you.”

90s Kid beamed as Dan said the words ‘our Tenderheart’. Being able to share the secret of his love for Care Bears was one of the many things about Dan which 90s Kid was grateful for, and he crushed Dan in such a powerful hug that the older man fell back onto the bed gasping slightly when his boyfriend finally pulled back.

“Y-you’re welcome, Kid,” Dan said, smiling once he got his breath back. 90s Kid giggled and helped him sit back up before realizing Dan hadn’t opened his box yet.

“Oh, um, it’s, like, your turn,” he said, suddenly shy again as he turned his gaze to his shorts. Dan pecked his cheek and started to open the box.

“Sweetie, it’s alright. I know I’ll love whatever you got me. Besides, it looks like our minds melded again and we ended up with similar ideas, right?”

“Yeah, sorta,” 90s Kid said softly, which was difficult to do when your heart was beating so loudly in your ears that it seemed impossible to speak without screaming. He glanced over as Dan slid a watch of his own out of the box and into his hands before his eyes widened and his expression grew shocked. “I-is it okay?” 90s Kid asked, feeling more insecure the longer Dan stared without speaking. “The lady at the store said it was called a Swatch-no, wait, a Pop Swatch! Cuz you can pop the round part out and, like, stick it on your jeans or your jacket or whatever! A-and she said the wristband is totally 80s-style, cuz it’s like tiger stripes only instead of orange and black, it’s every color of the rainbow and black, and I know you totally like colors, Dan, right? Um, and there’s a picture of Gonzo from the Muppet Babies on it cuz I know he was your favorite, uh, yeah, and like, if you hit this button,” he reached out to one of the white buttons on the watch’s face, “it plays this 80s song by this dude, about never giving you up and junk.”

90s Kid seemed to run out of steam then and he lowered his head, his hands curling around his Tenderheart watch tightly. “I’m sorry it’s, like, not as awesome as the one you gave me, but-”

“Kid.” 90s Kid looked back over at Dan and did a double take when he realized he had tears on his cheeks. “Sweetie, this is the most amazing watch that has ever existed. I-I can’t even believe this beautiful relic of the 80s is mine. It’s the second-most wonderfully amazing thing I’ve ever been given and I don’t know how to thank you enough for it!”

Dan leapt nimbly for a man with a twisted ankle and somehow managed to capture 90s Kid in an even stronger hug than the one the teen had given him. It was 90s Kid's turn to gasp before he quickly wrapped his arms around Dan and felt all the tension in his body vanish.

“Oh, dude, I’m so happy you like it,” 90s Kid said, hugging him a few moments more before he pulled back and stared at his wet cheeks. “But Dan, you didn’t have to cry about it, dude. You got me totally scared you hated it or something.”

“Sorry, Kid. I guess I was a little overwhelmed by how much I loved your present.” 90s Kid laughed with relief and set to work brushing Dan’s tears away.

“So you love it, huh? But it’s, like, only the second-best gift you’ve ever gotten?” he teased. Dan blinked before nodding. “So then, what was the best gift you ever got, Dan?”

Dan brought a hand up to cup his cheek. “You, silly. You rank as my number one everything.”

90s Kid felt a tightening in his chest and knew he was about to start tearing up as well, so he quickly took a breath and hugged his boyfriend again until it passed. Then he decided to change the topic, since Christmas was supposed to be about happy junk like presents and not goopy emotional stuff. “Th-thanks, Dan. Um, so like, where does Cinema Snob-dude rank with you?”

Dan’s expression darkened at once. “Well, usually he’s a solid number two, but after what he did, I don’t even know if he makes the top twenty list of my favorite people, things, or places.”

“Aw, Dan, can’t you try and forgive him?” 90s Kid asked, his lower lip sticking out in a slight pout. “It isn’t radical to be mad at your buddies on Christmas and I think he feels totally bad about what happened.”

“He certainly hasn’t shown that he feels particularly bad, what with that lame apology he didn’t even direct at you,” Dan said, folding his arms and looking somewhat like a stern schoolmaster. “What if his irresponsible behavior had gotten you sick or hurt?”

“I know what he did was bogus, dude, but I’m totally okay, and I’m not mad at him,” 90s Kid admitted. “Isn’t he all lonely and junk, and that’s why he’s kinda grumpy to us?”

“I used to believe that, Kid, but now I’m not so sure.” Dan lowered his gaze, seeming as if he were going to enter a gloomy mood right then, before he caught sight of his present again and his face radiated joy once more. “But who cares about that grumbly old malcontent? I certainly don’t, not when it’s Christmas and I have the two best presents in the entire universe! So come on, Kid, let’s go downstairs and share this wonderful day with the rest of your family!”

“Totally, dude!” Feeling uplifted as well by the prospect of seeing the others and, more importantly, their presents, 90s Kid reached over to help fasten Dan’s watch onto his wrist, before Dan reached over and did the same for him. Then 90s Kid grabbed the older man once more in a warm embrace before peppering his cheeks and lips with loving kisses. 90s Kid didn’t always get overly affectionate, but since he was so happy to have something he could carry around with him that would always remind him of Dan, he couldn’t help unleashing as much love as he could.

“Okay, dude, let’s boogie!” 90s Kid suddenly scooped Dan into his arms and started walking toward the door. Dan was content to lay back and enjoy the ride until he remembered that 90s Kid was still wearing his present.

“Oh, uh, Kid, you can take that off before we go,” he said, no trace of sadness or hurt in his voice. “This can just be another special present between us, so I really don’t mind if you keep it hidden.”

Instead of looking worried, 90s Kid only smiled at his boyfriend. Then he bent down to kiss Dan’s lips tenderly for a moment. “Merry Christmas, Dan.”

Dan hugged onto him and smiled, admiring how the watch on his wrist seemed to almost sparkle in the sunlight. “Merry Christmas, Kid.”

\-----

“Merry Christmas, Kid,” Harvey told Linkara with a smile as they sat cuddled up in front of the fireplace to exchange presents. They seemed to be the only ones down in the living room so far, which was strange since they both would have wagered that 90s Kid would be halfway through unwrapping his gifts by now. Since he seemed to have been distracted with something else at the moment, the couple decided to take advantage of this time alone to exchange gifts in peace.

There were two packages resting on the couch close to Harvey’s knee, and one from Linkara which was still under the tree with the other gifts. Linkara leaned in and gave his boyfriend a loving kiss, sighing as he felt Harvey’s hand sneak up to caress his cheek. “I don’t think I’ve had a holiday this swell in years, Kid.” 

“Same here, Harvey,” Linkara replied, knowing for the first time just how much better the holidays could be when you were in love. He gazed at Harvey adoringly for a few moments before his expression changed to that of an excitable puppy. “So, what’s my present?” Harvey laughed and handed over one of the boxes for Linkara to open. It was wrapped in silver with a fancy blue bow on top that matched Harvey’s gorgeous eyes.

Linkara carefully tore open the paper, since it seemed a shame to just rip it wildly, before taking in the shape of a long, somewhat heavy cardboard box. There was a stamp for a jewelry store on the top and Linkara arched an eyebrow curiously, wondering what could be inside. He opened up the box and gasped when he saw a silver pocket watch and chain coiled inside, before gently withdrawing it. There was engraving on the front, and Linkara instantly recognized it as one of Harvey’s favorite song lyrics.

_“Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore…”_

“I know you’ve already got that Miller Time watch, Kid, but I wanted to get you a snazzy timepiece that wouldn’t remind you of all those crappy comics you gotta get through. You’re a classy guy, so you definitely should have one of those,” Harvey told him, smiling as Linkara quickly wound up the watch. 

“Harvey, I love it! It’s perfect, thank you!” He leaned in and kissed Harvey again, feeling a warm glow inside his chest. It really was such a thoughtful gift, especially since Harvey had taken his sometimes torturous reviews into account. For someone who didn’t read comics, Harvey was unusually thoughtful and indulgent of his interests, which Linkara was growing more appreciative for by the day. After Linkara gently slipped the watch into his pocket, Harvey handed him the other box. This one was wrapped in dark green paper with a metallic silver bow on top. “Something else?” Linkara started to protest. “You didn’t have to go into that much trouble, Harvey. I love the watch so much already-”

“Kid, just open it and let me see your cute excited face.”

Linkara laughed at Harvey’s surprisingly sweet command and set to work tearing off the wrapping paper. He gave a sharp gasp when he revealed a pocket kitchen blowtorch, just like the one he’d seen on their first date a month or so ago. Harvey drank in his expression with a pleased smile. “I know that doohickey caught your eye that night, Kid, so I made a note to see if I could track one down for ya. Whattaya think?” 

“What do I think?! Harvey, this is amazing, this is wonderful!” Linkara looked ecstatic as he held the device in his hands. “Do you know how much easier this will make my repairs? And I’ll be able to do the cybermat upgrades! Plus all of our weapons and control panels and– wow, Harvey, it’s really the perfect present! Oh, b-but not as perfect as the the watch-” he hastily added, realizing that he was probably coming off as very ungrateful, but Harvey stopped him by holding up a hand and chuckling. 

“Ah, relax, Kid. I know you like the new ticker, but I knew you’d go gaga over this even more.” Harvey smiled again as he realized how well his gift choices had gone over. “Anything to see you happy, sweetheart.” Linkara felt relieved that he had such an understanding boyfriend and he kissed him again before reaching toward the tree to grab Harvey’s gift, which was wrapped in gold paper covered in music notes.

“Um, here, Harvey,” Linkara said, feeling a little bit shy in giving it to him now, since he wasn’t sure if his gift would match up to the wonderful items Harvey had given him.

Harvey grinned widely as Linkara handed him something undoubtedly record-shaped. He remembered the Perry Como album Linkara had bestowed upon him the previous year and knew that whatever this was, it would not disappoint. He very carefully pulled back the paper before his mouth fell open in shock.

“Kid…oh, wow…” He held the record very gently, as though a slight gust of wind could blow it away like dust. “Where the hell did you find this?!”

“To quote a certain someone, ‘I have quite a few tricks up my sleeve. One day I’ll teach you all of them, but for now, I’ll let you enjoy the mystery.’” Linkara said with a smile, overjoyed at the genuine surprise on Harvey’s face. 

In Harvey’s hands was a very rare Christmas album, one that contained songs from many crooner legends – including Harvey himself. Linkara had listened to it in secret before they left for the trip and remembered being swept away by the tracks Harvey had supplied. There was a wonderful cover of “My Favorite Things”, a jazzy version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, and to top it off, a hauntingly beautiful rendition of “Little Altar Boy” that gave Linkara goosebumps. 

Harvey stared at the record a few moments more before a huge smile took over his face. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to find a copy of this thing? Kid, this is great! I can’t believe it!” He pulled Linkara close and kissed him passionately until they both were gasping for air. As they recovered, they remained close, pressing their foreheads together as they gazed at each other happily. “I love you.” 

Linkara’s eyes twinkled as they cuddled together near the warmth of the fire. “I love you too. Merry Christmas, Harvey."

After another peck on the lips, Harvey’s gaze turned to the stairs. “Well, we were wondering what happened to you two.” Linkara turned around and saw 90s Kid carrying Dan in his arms down the stairs, the pair grinning happily as always. “Say, you got some strong arms there, Junior.”

“Doesn’t he, though?” Dan told them, gazing at the teen adoringly. “I’ve very much enjoyed being carried around by him all week.”

“Aw, you’re welcome, dude.” 90s Kid squeezed Dan’s shoulder affectionately as he walked over to Linkara and Harvey, carefully setting Dan down for a moment so he could hold out his arm proudly.

“Guys, look at this awesome watch Dan got me for Christmas!” Dan felt extremely touched as he watched 90s Kid show off the present. Instead of embarrassment, there was only love on his face, even as Harvey and Linkara stared at the watch in slight confusion.

“Um, that’s really nice, 90s Kid.”

“Yeah, Junior, it’s… something.”

Dan, always ready to help, put one arm around 90s Kid and held out the other for them to see.

“The Care Bears were some of the finest creations to come from the 80s, my friends. Just like everything that’s included with this amazing watch that 90s Kid was kind enough to give me.” Linkara chuckled and looked between the two of them in amusement. 

“I guess if 90s Kid can stand your 80s obsession enough to wear a Care Bears watch, Dan, then it really must be love.” 90s Kid and Dan smiled but said nothing, their eyes twinkling as they briefly glanced one another. Now 90s Kid would be able to wear his watch and still keep his secret hidden. He decided that Dan would be getting a very special kiss the next time they were alone.

“And you haven’t even heard the best feature of this watch,” Dan continued as he fingered the button on the side of the face. “It also plays music!”

“Really?” Harvey looked suitably impressed. “What kind of-” His voice died in his throat when the warbling notes of “Never Gonna Give you Up” suddenly filled the cabin. Linkara, on the other hand, moaned and covered his ears.

“Damn it! I did not ask to be rick-rolled for Christmas!” Dan and 90s Kid shared a laugh as Linkara continued to complain while Harvey started to look at the watch as if it were personally offending him somehow. Finally, Dan quieted his gift again, and Harvey and Linkara stood so 90s Kid could carefully lay Dan down on the couch. He got him settled with pillows and cushions before turning to the rest of the team, who had also finally decided to appear.

"Okay, it’s totally time for all your awesome presents!” 90s Kid said as he reached for a large stack under the tree. He passed them out to the others, causing a few to look with interest at the messy wrapping job, but they were more amused by the choice of wrapping paper 90s Kid had used. “I, like, wrapped them up in my old comics that were falling apart and junk! Isn’t that the most radical idea ever?” 

“Very clever, 90s Kid. Now I’ll be able to rip up Rob Liefeld’s comic creations to my heart’s content,” Linkara said as he looked at his gift. 

“I know, right?!” 90s Kid said enthusiastically, completely misunderstanding Linkara’s sentence. He started to get a little embarrassed once the wrappings were torn off, though, and looked down to his hi-tops. “Uh, I didn’t have a lot of cash to go around this year, dudes, so I hope this is okay.”

Of everyone opening their gifts, Harvey finished first. In his hands, he held a black plastic picture frame with what looked to be a hand-drawn portrait inside. Upon further inspection, it turned out to be a portrait of himself, napping on the couch with his hands folded on his chest and fedora pushed over his eyes. It was done in black and white shading, and he was surprised to see that it was very well done, almost like a professional portrait. Then his eyes caught the signature in the corner. “Junior, did you really draw this?” 

“Uh, y-yeah. I couldn’t really afford anything awesome, so I drew you guys while you were hanging out and junk the last few weeks. Uh, sorry if that’s kinda boring…” 90s Kid trailed off when Harvey turned to look at him, a wide smile of delight on his face. 

“Junior, this is really good! I didn’t know you could draw like that! No wonder you’re always doodling in that sketchbook of yours. This is really the cat’s meow!” Linkara was also admiring his own portrait, which showed him from a side view, recording one of his latest episodes and wearing his beloved general’s hat. He hurried to nod in agreement with Harvey. 

“Wow, 90s Kid, this is great! I can’t believe you really drew this yourself… this must’ve taken you a lot of time to do.” Linkara didn’t say it aloud, but he was also astounded at how realistically the portraits were drawn, considering the bizarre proportions that 90s Kid usually obsessed over in his comic books. 

“N-nah, not really, dude.” 90s Kid felt a warm surge of happiness and smaller surge of pride stealing through his veins. Boffo held his up with a smile and honked his horn. “Yeah, I made sure to add a ton of color to yours, Boffo-dude. Totally used up my whole box of colored pencils and stuff. And for Ninja’s I like, used some charcoal, cuz he’s always wearing black.” Boffo’s eyes met those of the ninja before they walked over to the tree to fetch a large box wrapped in red paper covered with smiling snowpeople.

*It is amusing that you gave us such beautifully drawn presents, 90s Kid, since Boffo and I chipped in together to get you something related to your abilities. We hope you are able to attain much use out of it.*

90s Kid eagerly tore off the paper and gasped when he saw a deluxe art set. “Duuuudes, this is totally radical! It’s got awesome shading pencils, colored pencils, gel pens, paints, paintbrushes, and even, like, a totally awesome canvas! This is so super radically cool! Thanks so much you guys!” 90s Kid got up and pulled the two of them into a huge hug, which left them smiling albeit gasping somewhat for breath.

“Wow, I bet you’re gonna have a ton of fun with that, sweetie!” Dan exclaimed, nodding in approval at the gift. Snob, who had been sitting in silence in one of the armchairs, slowly stood up before approaching the tree and grabbing a gift from underneath. He then walked over to Dan, who looked up before frowning and turning his head away from him. “Oh, it’s you.”

Snob sighed. “Look, Dan, I know I put too much booze into the eggnog, okay? I didn’t mean to get your boyfriend plastered but he’s fine now, so just take this stupid gift and let me say I’m sorry, okay? To you and 90s Kid both, I’m really, really sorry!” Dan looked up at him before glancing over his shoulder to where 90s Kid was nodding enthusiastically at him. After a moment of consideration, Dan’s mouth formed itself into its usual smile.

“Aww, Snob, I can never stay mad at you. I know it was all just some mistake that you never meant to happen, so I forgive you.” 90s Kid smiled and walked over to pat Snob on the back, perhaps a little too firmly, if Snob’s wince was anything to go by.

“I forgive you too, dude! I’ll totally remember from now on to, like, leave drinks alone if they taste weird!”

“Yeah, great,” Snob muttered as he reached behind to rub his tender back. 90s Kid turned his gaze upon Dan.

“Open your present, dude!” Dan quickly ripped open the wrapping paper and his eyes sparkled with delight.

“I found it at a garage sale for a dollar,” Snob said, trying his best to sound casual. “It’s probably broken, but I thought you’d like it.” Dan eagerly gripped the Spirograph in his hands and made a loud sound of glee.

“Wow! This is a truly thoughtful present, Snob! I knew I could count on you to find something perfect for me! Thank you so very much!” 90s Kid crouched down next to him to get a better look.

“What is it, Dan?”

“You’ll like this too, Kid! Although not from the 80s, the Spirograph is still one of the best drawing tools around! I remember I had one of these as a kid myself and I loved it in all of its swirly-patterned goodness! When we get back home, we’ll get some paper and I’ll show you how to use it, but for right now, can you grab that box under the tree addressed from me to my special friend here?”

“Sure, Dan!” 90s Kid grabbed the gift, which was wrapped in paper that bore the 8-bit graphics of the Space Invaders game, and handed it to Dan, who handed it over to Snob.

Snob glanced at the paper for a moment before he started tearing it off, certain that whatever Dan had gotten him would most likely be some shitty, embarrassing 80s piece of crap, but when he could see what he was actually holding in his hands, Snob gave a shout of surprise that caused everyone to turn and stare at him.

“Oh my fucking God! Is this what I think it is?!”

“I heard from my friend Kung-Tai Ted that you are a big fan of Pierre Kirby films,” Dan informed him while wearing the widest grin in existence, “and while I was digging around through one of the dumpsters next to an abandoned movie studio, I found this little gem! It’s actually one of his lost movies! Do you like it?” Dan leaned in closer, his eyes glowing expectantly.

“Like it? I fucking love it! This is the best fucking present I’ve ever gotten! I can’t believe you found it, Dan! Thanks so fucking much-” Snob abruptly stopped when he noticed everyone was looking at him and instantly his grouchy frown returned. “I mean yeah, it’s fine. It’ll do, I suppose.”

Dan wiped away a few tears of joy before leaping to his feet and embracing Snob in a huge hug. “Oh, Snob, I knew you’d like it! You’re very welcome to it, my friend!” Snob’s frown deepened and he rolled his eyes, but no one could help from noticing that he did nothing to push Dan away this time.


	7. Chapter 7

Linksano had been sitting quietly in the corner this whole time staring at the portrait 90s Kid had drawn for him. He’d been captured in a state of intense concentration as he poured chemicals from one beaker into another, and even though his eyes were obscured as usual, Linksano noted that his expression was very tense and unhappy, if the deep frown and creased brow were anything to go by. Did he always look like this when he was working? He knew he could become overly focused on projects, even obsessed at times, but he'd thought he managed to maintain a lighter, friendlier façade when 90s Kid was around. Linksano continued to study the picture so deeply that he failed to notice the teen approaching him until he rested a hand on his shoulder.

“S-so, you like it, Linksano-dude?” he asked, in a soft, slightly worried tone. Linksano fought the urge to shrug off his touch and offered 90s Kid instead a small, warm smile.

“Of course I like it, 90s Kid. You've done a marvelous job capturing my likeness and I really must thank you for the dedication you've put into this very thoughtful gift."

“Yeah?” 90s Kid blushed slightly as happiness overcame him again. “I really wanted you to like it, man, cuz you’re always so cool about letting me help in your lab and junk. I, like, probably couldn't have bought Dan's present without you, man, so I totally owed you one."

“Think nothing of it,” Linksano replied, feeling strangely touched that 90s Kid was so worried about his opinion. “Um, though I would like to ask you a question about the expression on my face. Do I… often look like that when you’re down with me?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” 90s Kid easily answered, not noticing how Linksano seemed to hang his head at the response. “I was totally more worried about drawing your goggles and coat than your face, man.”

“I see.” Linksano kept his gaze on the drawing. “Thank you again for the gift, 90s Kid.” 90s Kid nodded and walked off again, leaving the scientist to his thoughts. So he hadn’t been fooling anyone if even 90s Kid could see through him. No wonder Boffo had wanted to take pity on him if he constantly looked like this pathetic, miserable man. The most miserable part of all was that Linksano wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to change, to leave behind the sadness and the longing and the memories that seemed to haunt his dreams more and more often. If only he could talk to Wayne one more time… if only he could hear Wayne scold him, and tell him to stop being so wretched and start enjoying all the wonderful things about his new life. But at this point, Linksano was fairly certain Wayne wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him at all.

“Guys, look!” 90s Kid suddenly spotted a letter resting under the now empty pancake plate. Linkara quickly picked it up and read it out loud.

_"Dear friends,_

_Ho ho ho! You all have been very good this year! I want to thank you all for doing a fine job being the universe’s protectors! I hope you enjoy these presents I’ve placed into your stockings. I had a little help from a friend with one of them, so please be gentle and remember that no matter where you are, if you are with friends and family, you won’t be forgotten. Merry Christmas!_

_Santa Christ_

_P.S. The Plot Hole sends his love._

_P.P.S. Be sure to tell Harvey that his delightful pancakes were the best I’ve ever had!"_

Linkara smiled at the mention of the Critic and looked up to the ceiling to mutter a quiet “Thanks” while the others went to investigate their stockings.

“Duuuude, Youngblood holo-foil trading cards! These are so extreme!” 90s Kid yelled happily as he withdrew them from his stocking.

“Oooh, designer cologne.” Harvey grinned as he examined the bottle. “The man has taste.”

*He has given me perfectly balanced throwing stars. I shall definitely put these to good use, and to good aim.*

“Honk! Honk!” Boffo exclaimed as he withdrew a new novelty hand buzzer with several different settings.

“Wow, new Power Rangers toys!” Linkara said, pulling them out of the stocking and admiring them closely.

“A vintage New Coke t-shirt!” Dan told them, unrolling it. “Wow, I can’t believe how fortunate I’ve been this Christmas! What about you, Snob?”

Snob reached in and pulled out his cell phone. “What the hell is this? Santa Christ didn’t get me a fucking present?”

Just then, the phone rang and Snob’s eyes widened as he identified the caller. Then he surprised everyone by smiling as he answered. “Hey! What the hell are you doing up so early?” He paused before chuckling in amusement. “You really hung that piece of crap up? I only bought it because Ninja Turtles merchandise is so fucking cheap nowadays.” Another pause followed by a more embarrassed laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Like I’d ever spend that much on you. A-anyway, so, did Santa Christ leave anything in your little stocking?” Snob’s eyes widened again. “Me too! And the second I picked it up, you called!” A longer pause before Snob lowered his head and his voice. “Yeah, alright, I guess I do too.” His expression softened and he even seemed to blush a little. “I miss you too, Phel.”

“Awww,” came a chorus of voices from around Snob.

“Shut the hell up or I will fucking dismember every last one of you!” Snob snapped, his face a brighter shade of red now. This only caused the group to start snickering, so Snob groaned and hurried outside, slamming the door shut behind him.

“I knew Santa Christ would bring Snob the perfect gift,” Dan said happily.

“Linksano, aren’t you gonna open yours?” 90s Kid asked, pointing to the stocking in the doctor’s hands. Linksano sighed, fiddling with the cloth a bit. “Santa Christ always gives awesome stuff! I’m sure it’s gonna be the best present ever!”

 _“Not unless he managed to fit Wayne inside this overgrown sock…”_ Linksano thought, finally reaching his hand inside to pull out what was contained within. It turned out to be a plain brown box, which Linksano opened the lid to without much thought. His jaw immediately fell wide open. “Oh my… oh my… how…” Everyone looked at him curiously, wondering what it could be that would make the jaded scientist look so stunned.

“What is it, Linksano?” Linkara finally asked.

Linksano reached inside the box and pulled out what looked to be a handmade ornament in the shape of an atom particle. Several blinking lights upon the ornament twinkled softly and on the back, written in childish scribbling, were a few simple words.

_Made by Wayne, Age 10 and Oscar, Age 8._

Linksano continue to stare at it a few moments more before realizing he was expected to give an answer. “Oh, um… it’s something that… that my brother and I made together, as children.” He held the ornament in his hands as though it were some sort of holy relic. “It’s, ahem, very nice to see it again.”

Linksano remembered how he and Wayne had made the ornament with special lights that were guaranteed not to burn out and how they’d had such fun creating it during recess at school before showing it to their mother eagerly as soon as they’d gotten home. _“Those lights must have really worked if they still manage to shine like this twenty years later…”_ Linksano thought, trying not to get choked up. _“I guess he did manage to fit Wayne in here after all.”_

Everyone continued to chat about the gifts they’d received and Linksano felt his melancholy start to vanish as he held something from his own universe for the first time in what felt like years. He remembered the message in the letter from a man he’d thought a fake; from that moment on, Linksano definitely believed in Santa Christ.

A horn honk suddenly drew Linksano’s attention and he looked up as Boffo pointed questioningly to a set of small black cases still under the tree, each topped with a white bow.

“Oh, th-those are from me,” Linksano called out, suddenly self-conscious as to how his presents would go over. “Everyone please take one for yourself, it doesn’t matter which.”

“Whatever this is, I hope it’s less explosive than the birthday present you got me,” Linkara muttered as he cautiously brought the box to his ear for a listen.

“It is.” Linksano blushed slightly as he recalled that disaster of a gift, but then he realized Linkara was laughing.

“Well, at least it gave me an amusing anecdote to tell everyone about why my eyebrows were singed off for a month.”

“Yeah, the doc’s always good for livening the place up,” Harvey agreed, shooting Linksano an amused grin as well.

“Yeah, man, Linksano-dude’s awesome.”

*I must concur that I am always amused and entertained when he’s showing us another brilliant invention.*

“E-everyone, please,” Linksano said, his whole face red by now. He still wasn’t used to being praised like this, and even though it embarrassed him, Linksano looked down to his lovely new gloves and continued to believe that maybe he did deserve to hear it.

“Say doc, what is this?” Harvey peered at the blue device in confusion while Linkara and Ninja-Style Dancer came up with the answer at the same time.

“A teleportation device?”

*With this, I won’t need to use any hand signs to vanish, correct?*

“Yes, you are both right,” Linksano said with a nod. “I thought gifts such as teleporters would be practical, since we can use them during battle, while still maintaining an element of surprise and whimsy. 90s Kid, would you be so kind as to demonstrate?”

“Dudes, watch me!” 90s Kid held the teleporter up for all to see. “Just imagine in your head the place you wanna go, and push this button!” 90s Kid vanished then, reappearing in the kitchen a second later.

“Wowie!” Harvey took a turn then, vanishing instantly before he ran down the stairs a few seconds later. “It really works!”

“Linksano, these are amazing!” Linkara cried as he tested the device and ended up in the kitchen as well. “What’s the range for these things anyway?”

“Anywhere on Earth should work,” Linksano answered, feeling very pleased with how well this was turning out.

“So that means, there’ll be no more hassle with trains and planes when I wanna go on tour!” Harvey declared, looking truly delighted.

“No more dealing with traffic jams and road rage when I want to pick up groceries!” Linkara agreed, also delighted.

"Honk! Honk!"

“Totally, Boffo-dude! Now you can save on gas and, like, spend more on awesome magic tricks!”

“I think these are really going to help us out when we’re fighting too,” Linkara determined as he slipped the device into his pocket. “Linksano, I can’t thank you enough for these. You really did something amazing here.” He reached over to pat the scientist on the arm in a friendly manner, smiling as Linksano squirmed happily from the contact.

“I-it was really no trouble at all. I would make anything if it could help out my team… and my friends.”

\-----

Linkara gave the cabin one last long look as he finished stowing his suitcases into the trunk. “It was a hell of week, but overall I think that went well.”

“Sure, Kid,” Harvey said, slipping an arm around his shoulders. “We only had one major injury, one drunken minor, and one inappropriate use of a hot tub. Considering past vacations, I would call that a success.”

“Thanks, Harvey,” Linkara said flatly, causing the older man to chuckle.

“Ah, that’s nothing compared to some of the parties I’ve been to,” Dan informed them as he hobbled over to lean against the hood of the car. “Did I ever tell you about the time me and Smitty went to Times Square on New Year’s Eve with only a hammer and a box of laxatives?”

“Yes!” Linkara and Harvey shouted in unison, already feeling horrified as the remnants of that story started creeping into their minds. Dan didn’t seem to notice and smiled fondly at the memory.

“Ah, good times, good times.”

*We have finished packing as well, Linkara.* Ninja-Style Dancer and Boffo carried their bags over and Harvey set to work stowing them in the trunk.

“Great. I guess we’re almost ready to go then.”

“Too bad. This place was finally starting to grow on me.” Linkara looked in surprise as Snob walked over with his bag.

"Really? I thought you couldn't wait to get out of here, Snob." Snob shrugged and took out a pack of cigarettes.

"Nah, it really wasn't that bad. Nice views, good food, pleasant company-what’s not to like?”

Linkara grinned and reached out his hand. “Well then, we’d like to thank you for coming with us, Snob. I’m glad you had fun. And, uh, sorry again about breaking in and, um, using your hot tub,” he added, blushing slightly.

Snob smirked and shook Linkara’s hand. “Forget it. I was kind of being an ass, so it’s fine. Besides, it cracked Phelous up and it was kind of an impressive feat for you two to pull off.”

“You told Phelous?” Linkara closed his eyes, his face growing a darker shade of red. “That’s just great. He can’t keep a secret. Now everyone’s gonna know about it.”

“Whoops,” Snob said, his smile growing slightly wicked.

“Dudes, I’m totally packed!” 90s Kid hurried outside with his bag before he stopped to stare at Dan. “Dan, did you come out here yourself? You know I don’t mind carrying you, man.”

“I know, but I thought I should start getting used to walking myself,” Dan replied. “It’s not like you’ll be there to carry me all over Springfield.”

“Yeah, I guess,” 90s Kid reluctantly agreed as he set his bag down. He then pulled Dan into a hug. “I’m totally gonna miss you, Dan.”

“I’ll miss you too, sweetie,” Dan said, hugging him back and nuzzling his cheek. “This was the best Christmas I’ve ever had since I got to spend it with you and your family.”

“Mine too!” 90s Kid agreed. “I had, like, the most awesome time hanging with you and everyone all together like this! And now that I have Linksano’s teleporter thing, I can totally hang with you even more, Dan!”

“Speaking of Linksano, is he done packing yet?” Harvey called from the back of the car. “I want to get out of here before the Kid hits traffic.”

*He should be done soon. He was rearranging his books when we left the room.* Ninja-Style Dancer informed him.

“Well, I guess we should be getting ready to go too,” Dan said, pulling away from 90s Kid with a soft sigh. “I’m glad I have this sweet mixed tape of 80s classics for Snob and I to listen to on our drive home.” He reached into his pocket but instead of a cassette, Dan pulled out a small piece of greenery bearing white berries. “Oh shoot! I completely forgot to hang up the mistletoe I brought!”

“You brought mistletoe?” Snob asked with an amused snicker. “Why? I’m sure 90s Kid would kiss you if you just looked at him.” 90s Kid flushed while Dan laughed good-naturedly.

“It was just a fun idea I had, Snob. I thought that, oh, I don’t know, perhaps one of the bachelors here might meet a cute snow-bunny and invite them back to the cabin for fun in front of a roaring fire, and this beauty could help out if nerves got the better of them. Or something like that. Oh well, I guess there’s always next year.”

“We don’t have to wait that long, dude.” 90s Kid took the mistletoe and ran back over to the cabin before hanging it in the doorway. “There! Now it’s ready for whoever wants to use it.”

“Kid, you’re a genius.” 90s Kid giggled and ran back over, intent on carrying Dan over to the doorway, but before he’d even picked him up, Linksano arrived with his bags and stopped directly under it.

“Sorry to keep everyone waiting. I’m ready for the journey home,” he declared, grinning widely as he looked down to admire his new gloves once again.

“Aw, dude, you’re bogarting the mistletoe magic!” 90s Kid called out to him.

“Eh?” Linksano looked confused before he tilted his head back to gaze at the plant. Then he giggled nervously. “O-oh, I see. Sorry, 90s Kid, I’ll move at once.” He picked up his bags and strode over to hand them to Harvey in a slightly faster fashion than usual.

"You didn't have to move, dude," 90s Kid said. “Dan and I woulda waited ‘til you, like, got your kiss.”

“90s Kid, don’t be preposterous,” Linksano said with a dismissive shake of his head. “We all know there is no one in this universe-or any universe most likely-who would be interested in kissing me, so let’s just-”

Linksano fell silent as something soft and warm pressed against his cheek. He couldn't quite comprehend what exactly it was, or why he’d felt some strange thrill of electricity pass through him at that same moment, so he stood completely still and pondered the phenomenon, letting the neurons fire in his mind until he could understand what had just happened. When it finally clicked that someone for some unknown reason had leaned in to plant a kiss on his cheek, Linksano brought his hand to said cheek, pressing his fingertips over the now-tingling skin.

“I… what…” Linksano struggled for words as he turned to face the one who had struck him senseless. “Boffo… w-why did you…”

Boffo smiled and started signing at him.

*He says it’s a tradition, and now you can’t say that there isn’t anyone interested in kissing you.* Ninja-Style Dancer helpfully translated as he gave Boffo a confused look.

Linksano flushed bright red and felt all the air rush from his lungs as a dizzying sensation overtook him. He gasped, trying to take in enough oxygen to keep from passing out, and felt too many thoughts to properly identify pass through his mind as he tried to understand what was happening. Boffo’s expression quickly grew concerned as he realized Linksano was close to passing out. His hands flew through the air in a flurry of signs that the ninja translated.

*Oh, I understand what’s happening now, Linksano. Boffo said he was just trying out a joke and he never meant to upset you in any way and he hopes you’ll forgive his thoughtless prank and he’s very sorry, very very sorry, very very very-okay, I think he gets it, Boffo.*

Boffo frowned at Ninja-Style Dancer before he realized a strange, choked noise was coming from Linksano that could be described as laughter if laughter sounded like a cat being strangled.

“A-a joke! Yes! A joke! I-I am quite familiar with those! Jokes! Hahaha! Yes! J-jokes are quite, um, quite funny!”

“Uh, Linksano, are you okay?” Linkara asked, also looking at the scientist with concern. “I know Boffo’s new, bizarre brand of humor was unexpected, but I really don’t think he meant to upset you with it.”

“I’m fine!” Linksano said much too quickly to be believable. “I just remembered that I-I really must be going now! I’ve left, erm, something burning on the stove! In my lab! S-so I must really be attending to it!” He groped into his pocket and pulled out his teleporter, almost dropping it in the rush to get it into his hands. “Sorry for the sudden departure and thank you for a lovely Christmas everyone!” Before anyone could say anything in response, Linksano pressed the button and vanished.

“Linksano, wait,” Linkara called out, but it was to no avail.

“Dude, what was up with that?” 90s Kid asked Boffo. The clown’s hands had fallen to his sides and his whole body seemed to be drooping, but he quickly flashed 90s Kid a smile and pulled out his horn. 90s Kid listened to his half-hearted honks before frowning as well. “Dude, no offense, but that was the worst joke I ever saw or heard. You really gotta work on your stuff, man.”

“Come one, Kid, give him a break.” 90s Kid looked surprised as Dan hobbled over to pat Boffo on the back. “It can be hard on a fellow when a joke goes over badly. Snob has lots of stories about that very topic, right Snob?”

Snob scowled and took a drag of his cigarette. “Do you know how many fucking idiots are out there who do not get my sophisticated humor?”

“Sadly I do,” Linkara agreed. “I’ve had some bad reactions to jokes as well.”

“I bet mine were worse.”

“For ten bucks, you’re on!” As Linkara and Snob went into a mini-match of who had a joke go over worse in a video that quickly drew the attention of the others, Boffo pulled Dan aside and gave him a grateful hug.

“You’re perfectly welcome, my colorful friend,” Dan told him softly. “I’ve been in your shoes before and I know it can be tough.” Boffo looked down, feeling awkward, before glancing up again as Dan pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. “Here. My roommate’s been teaching me more about this Internet-thing, so if you ever want to talk, you can reach me at this electronic-mail address.” Boffo nodded and pocketed the paper while Dan smiled.

“Okay, fine, you win,” Linkara grumbled, handing over the bill. “Come on, people, let’s get on the road before I have to give up any more of my money.”

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Snob said as he strode over to Dan’s car. “Come on, Dan, move your ass.”

“Okay!” Dan tried to hobble over to the car but he laughed when 90s Kid scooped him up into his arms. “I’m certainly going to miss this kind of luxury treatment, Kid.”

“Don’t worry, Dan,” 90s Kid said as he carried him over and placed him in the front seat. “I’ll be over to see you in, like, no time.”

Dan smiled and pulled him down for a kiss. “I love you, Kid.”

“Love you too, Dan.”

“Come on, Junior, we’re waiting on you!”

“Coming, Harvey-dude!” 90s Kid kissed Dan one final time before hurrying to grab his seat besides Ninja-Style Dancer. “Hey, dudes, why don’t we just, like, use those things Linksano made to go home?”

“I’m not sure if the teleporters work on large objects like cars, 90s Kid,” Linkara explained as he drove out onto the highway. “But if you want to head home now on your own, that’s fine with me.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I like riding with you dudes. ‘Sides, this way I can, like, wave to Dan and junk.” 90s Kid turned and proceeded to do so just then.

*Ah, young love. Is there anything more wonderful?* Ninja-Style Dancer asked.

“I don’t know, I think old love has its charm too,” Harvey kidded before he reached over to squeeze Linkara’s shoulder.

“You are not old,” Linkara insisted, earning himself a kiss on the cheek.

*You are of course right. Forgive me for forgetting to appreciate love in all its forms.*

As the team continued their romantically-inclined discussion, Boffo slumped down in the backseat and hoped his presence would be forgotten so he wouldn’t be asked to contribute to the conversation. He also tried very hard not to think about what he’d just done, and the subsequent sick feeling that was plaguing his stomach, though he was rather thankful that his teammates were under the impression that it had all been a joke.

Because, to tell the truth, Boffo had been completely serious.


End file.
